It Changed My Life

If you've ever said or thought the following phrases:

"I don't want to let her borrow money, but I have no choice."

"No one appreciates the hard work I do."

"I wish he would take some responsibility for his own actions."

This might be a great book for you!

From dealing with manipulative parents to dealing with our own manipulative tendencies, Cloud and Townsend shed light on it all while giving you the courage and willingness to stand up for yourself.

Boundaries is written in a very understandable language. Sometimes, Cloud and Townsend break it down so much that it gets a little tough to read, but it is worth wading through the extra words just for the core of the book. Being psychologists, they share their experiences with different patients and their own boundary issues.

The different sections include a section with general information about what boundaries are and how they work. The next section includes examples of different boundary issues that people have.

This book has literally changed my life. Through the book, I realized that I was always trying to make people like me, without realizing what a strain it put on my relationships and myself. I also functioned better in my family and love relationships because I realized that I am not under obligation to anyone but myself and God. It was a very freeing experience.

The book has also enabled me to change other people's lives. I've given away about four or five copies and recommended it to so many people. Each person that took the time to read it told me how much it changed their lives. One friend, Julie, who had a very hard time dealing with a mother who would show up at my friends house uninvited and expect to be treated like royalty, completely changed her relationship with her mom. Now, her mother respects her and always calls before coming over. The last time I saw Julie's mom, she was telling me how amazing Julie is because she has such good boundaries!

One thing I must say, when you read the book, be sure not to just pick out other people who fall short of Boundaries' teaching, but also try to see where you fit in on the scheme of things. I found that not only do I have manipulative people in my own life, but I can also get pretty manipulative, myself. Knowing this, thought it was hard to face, gave me a new freedom on my life.

The Christian aspect of this book is minimal. Mostly, it is just good psychology with the acknowledgment that God is real.

I compare this book to Codependent no more, another one of my favorites. The two books are similar, but both unique in their own ways and worth reading.