WWF Royal Rumble for Dreamcast

THQ... without a doubt, the fine developers at THQ have published some of the best wrestling titles in video game history. For those of you who don't already know, THQ is responsible for the Nintendo 64's (with Asmik) WCW vs. nWo:World Tour, WCW/nWo:Revenge and WWF Wrestlemania 2000 and the recent Playstation title (with Yukes), WWF Smackdown. I was excited to hear that my Dreamcast was about to be graced with a THQ developed (also with Yukes) WWF title in Royal Rumble. Little did I know, it'd be closer related to THQ's poor games in WCW Nitro and WCW Thunder, that are easily forgotten when overshadowed by their other great efforts.

But, in my Final Fantasy VIII review tradition, I will save the bashing for later and praise what it can do. Nine (count 'em), characters can be on screen at one time. To accomplish this, though, the character models have lower polygon counts than they could have and, in return, have a boxy look to them (most notable in their shoulders). All in all, this is forgivable only because the game is called Royal Rumble and the WWF's Royal Rumbles are known for having a large amount of wrestlers in the ring at one time.

What next? That's all I can say good about this game, honestly. This is, to me, a travesty of a game that pales in comparison to even THQ's worst effort, WCW Nitro for Playstation.

So, what makes the game so bad, you ask? Well, I'll delve into minor game details before going after the worst mistake any game company can make in my eyes.

Sound... maybe I should put this as a lack of sound category. The sound in this game is worse than any of the aforementioned wrestling games, including those for the N64 and its weak sound chip. Included in the game are only the bare minimum sounds... you get the sounds of the landing bodies on the ring and trash cans being smashed over your opponents head. And, honestly, where are the announcers for this game? I accepted the lack of voice acting in the Nintendo 64 games as a blessing in disguise (I mean, who wants to hear the same phrase over and over, especially with the N64's cartridge storage media.). But, with the GD-ROM format, how could they not include at least announcers or, in WWF Attitude fashion, some taunts? At least you get your wrestler's theme music... after you win and only then. This was (in the great words of Edge and Christian) lame... totally lame.

Next up on my things to hate about Royal Rumble list is the control. This game has a simple enough layout at three buttons. One button strikes, one button grapples and one button runs/block/pins. It might've worked if the last button wasn't playing triple-duty. Instead, when you run to do a turnbuckle move like Jeff Hardy's 450 splash (I still haven't found his Swanton Bomb finisher) and you opponent is laying in the way, you stop and pin them instead. Also, when trying to strike or grapple, you'll find yourself facing the wrong direction and susceptible to any attacks. This is not helped by the fact that the characters turn slower than in a Resident Evil game. Double team maneuvers are unleashed by pressing two of the button's together and can either bring your teammate in for a double team move, have a one time attack or hit your opponent (or his tag team partner) with their finishing move. This was actually a good concept, but the control is so awful otherwise that it just doesn't work. This game was an arcade game (or so I've read) and it controls like one... a poor arcade game, I might add.

And, the most glaring fault any game company can make in my eyes is in poor gameplay. There's two modes to choose from in the game... Arcade Mode and Royal Rumble mode.

Arcade mode works like Super Street Fighter II did when it came out. You (and your tag team partner) face a set number of enemies instead of every enemy in the game. In Royal Rumble's case, this is ten opponents at random. But, this is where the game gets downright terrible... all of the sudden, in the middle of your match, five wrestlers will come out of nowhere and attack whomever is in their way. This is not only annoying, but unrealistic. To use another saying from the Edge and Christian dictionary, this is what's known as a "run-in." Run-in's happen in real sports entertainment (don't even mention that it's an oxymoron) all the time, but nothing like this. It's unrealistic and adds nothing to the game. Another problem I have is when the lights flicker and you suddenly (along with your tag team partner) are warped to the backstage area where you can once again be attacked by five random wrestlers for no reason. Arcade mode where you'll be playing this game the most, but it is a far cry from WWF Wrestlemania 2000's "Road to Wrestlemania" mode.

"Royal Rumble" mode is equally unimpressive. The control problems that I've already mentioned are made worse by the fact that you're almost always surrounded by competitors wanting to beat you (and only you) down. But, I suppose that's what happens when you put nine wrestlers in the ring at one time. It's ridiculously difficult and most of the problems I've had with the game thus far are still present (you don't go backstage and you don't get randomly attacked by run-ins). Don't even bother trying to play this part of the game, as you'll find yourself being made short work by the computer.

So much for the meat of the game... what about the extras? Or, should I say the lack of extras. First of all, there's only twenty characters (give or take a couple... I never really counted) to choose from and the characters, for the most part, control the same. Worse yet, the lack of a "Create-a-Wrestler" feature is a glaring hole that no wrestling game should have anymore. There are no ring entrances and no TitanTron video screen in this game (I've now come to expect entrances from wrestling titles.) and the sound, as I've already mentioned, is severely lacking. And, even if all of these extras were included, this still wouldn't be worth your purchase, or rental for that matter. This game has caused me to do two things I never did before owning it. I've never given a product a one out of five star rating before and I've never sold a video game back to a store a day after purchasing it. Please, if you value your hard earned cash, avoid this game at all costs.