Transformers

Transformers (2007) Directed by Michael (More Explosions!) Bay

Ron Witwicky: [drives past a Porsche dealer] I've got a little surprise for you, son.
Sam Witwicky: No, no, no, no! Dad! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
Ron Witwicky: Yeah, I am. You're not getting a Porsche!
[laughs]


Transformers are toys that look like one thing; a car, a truck, a jet, and become something else; a robot.  Originally created in Japan, a land noted for a fascination with miniaturization, high tech, and robots, Transformers have been one of the most popular toy lines in generations.

They spawned toyenetic Saturday morning cartoons which were basically the equivalent of animated sugary breakfast cereals, (and a lot of those were hocked during it) and little more than 30 minute long commercials for the toys.  I know I bought myself plenty of peace and quite with those little gizmos; the twins would clean their rooms, vacuum and dust for one little Decepticon.

As a cherished part of America's childhood, this movie had to be true to the source material, and it had to step up past the level of a Saturday morning cartoon.

The story is simple; the Autobots and Decepticons are two factions of a race of sentient machines in search of the Cube, source of the All Spark, which seems to be the prime mover in their mecanolutionary process.  It is the most important thing to their race, and since it is hidden somewhere on earth...guess who is coming to visit.

Sam Witwicky (Shai LeBeouf) is a normal geeky sixteen year old kid.  The most important thing in the world to him is getting his first car.  He is trying everything he can; his dad (Kevin Dunn) has promised him three A's and $2000 and he can get his first car.  The one he gets is a beater 76 Camero.  Actually, the one he picks, and the one that picks him is Bumblebee, an autobot.  But even though he does not know its full capabilities, and it smokes, Sam is in love as only a gear head can be with their first car. 

Coming a close second  to things of importance to him is Mikaela (Megan Fox) the hot chick who has never even noticed him.  That is really what a hot car is all about, getting hot chicks to notice you.  And, lo and behold, it works.  He gives her a lift when her jock boyfriend is a jerk, and she finally notices him. Life is going well.

So when his car is stolen, Sam is in hot pursuit.  He is not letting it get away.

Of course, Bumblebee has not been stolen; he has a mission, and following him just draws Sam into the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons. 

There is a certain hokey sincerity to the work that is a saving grace; there is no way to do a completely serious movie about a race of robots that turn into cars.  And the movie does not try to be completely serious.  The sight of a collection of giant robots trying to hide in a back yard so they aren't spotted by someone's parents is ridiculous, and hilarious.  By the same token, they don't try to turn it into a farce, like has been done with other remakes, like The Very Brady Movie, and Starsky and Hutch, or the upcoming Land of the Lost.

Instead, they sort of nod to the ridiculous, and go on.  And to make it worth our while, they give us the standard Bay formula for distracting the audience; give ‘em spectacular special effects, and blow stuff up.

And they do that well.  The transformation sequences are awe inspiring, the action is fast paced, so much so that while the actors are doing their own stunts, the camera is protected in a bulletproof glass box, leading Shai to comment, the camera was important, the actors expendable.

And Bay is practically a byword for movie pyrotechnics.  There is a lot of fast paced action and fire flowers blooming everywhere.  It makes for a frenetic but enjoyable movie.  It isn't high art, there is no great message, but it is a delightful romp through nostalgic days of childhood, and rates a high eight on the "ain't it cool" meter.

With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen due out June 24th, this is the perfect time to kill a little time and revisit your friends from Saturday morning again.  Dig out your old transformers, let your kids play with them, watch the movie, and get ready for the next installment.  Revisit Optimus Prime, Ironside, Bumblebee, and Megatron, and prepare for a fun ride.