Peace!

For all seeking peace in relationships, this book is an excellent roadmap. Step by step, Ken Sande lays out the paths to greater peace. Ken Sande is a fully educated attorney who tells us how to resolve disputes without litigation--something this country has some room to improve on. As a law professor myself, it is refreshing to see this sensible, sane and civil approach to conflict.

Sande quotes former Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court Warren Burger who, if you can believe it, points out the excess of litigation in this fine land. Although sometimes it is called for, Sande outlines a number of steps that can settle disputes without resorting to the formal court system. His approach is at once deep, practical, simple yet sometimes challenging to implement.

In part one, Sande sets forth the startling perspective on the opportunities that conflict brings. Rather than attack or escape (2 common but unhealthy approaches), Sande speaks of conciliation, which can help us serve others, grow in character, and bring glory to God. Sande also draws out the dimensions of peace: peace within, peace with others and peace with God. He also fosters trust in the sovereign and benevolent God, which facilitates peacemaking.

In part two, Sande asks the simple but efficient question: "is this really worth fighting over?" He also calls for self-examination and the call to remove oneself from iniquity with the help of God--taking care of "my" side of the conflict.

In part 3, "The Peacemaker" delineates gentle restoration of the other party(ies) who (at least in part) caused the conflict. Sande talks about how this is best accomplished by speaking the truth in love. If necessary by virtue of failure to resolve the dispute between the disputing parties, including one or two trusted and carefully selected people can help in the next phase of conciliation.

Part 4 gets at the heart of the process: forgiveness and reconciliation. It exhorts us to rise above the quid pro quo (tit for tat) vicious cycle of evil by overcoming evil with good. It urges us to go beyond the mire of selfishness to look to the the interests (good) of others. Most foundationally, Sande speaks of the theological foundation of receiving God's forgiveness through Jesus and thus being reconciled. This foundation enables one to forgive others.

I've met Ken Sande and he clearly believes what he wrote. In fact, rather than pursue much more lucrative options in the legal profession, he has dedicated his life to peacemaking through Peacemaker Ministries, a non-profit organization dedicated to peace-making (both doing it and training others). He also served on the national board of directors of the Christian Legal Society and is an exemplar of what he writes. Seeking to apply its message into my own life has enabled relationships that could have crashed to actually strengthen and flourish. I also see the conciliation approach as an important tool, especially as one in the legal profession, for resolving disputes amicably and effectively. As such, I have drawn from this book in my teaching. Jesus said "blessed are the peacemakers:" this book, based on the Book, shows the way!