Cookin' With Martha

I love Martha's TV program and watch through the week when it?s on (here) at 4 p.m. It?s a nice time for me to take a break after typing my fingers off. I can heat up a bowl of soup in the microwave (a new toy for me) and just kick back and be amazed or laugh at the outrageousness of whatever she?s doing that day.

A friend just gave me The Martha Stewart Cookbook: Collected Recipes For Every Day. It's by none other than Martha Stewart, herself, and it's not that he didn't like it; he's moving and just doesn't feel like hauling it to Europe! He knows I'll give it a good home.

I find that I can't be as upset with her as many of the Epinion reviewers are because they seem to think she demands that you follow her every suggestion. Hello! Is any one home? That's all they are . . . suggestions. If you are too busy raising a family or whatever, just take her with a grain of salt and wait until the kids leave and then do all of her cute stuff.

I'm still not over being slightly angry with Martha for being tangled up with that awful K-Mart/Blue Light free ISP. When I had Blue Light they were constantly pushing Martha's stuff so I can understand that it was a business tie-in; K-Mart carries her bedding (and God only know what else) that I have never made the effort to see. Now we are all watching her stock market scandal with baited breath . . . some pro, some con.

The Cookbook

Let's start with the cover. It's turquoise and pea-green slipcover with a black and white picture of the Goddess grinning at me over a crock of something I suspect she would say was "a good thing!" Inside I am told that the more than 1,600 recipes are the culmination of all the work and collecting (of recipes) she has done since 1982. I'm told I can learn to make Martha's most popular hors d'oeuvre--Shrimp Wrapped in Snow Peas. I think I'll skip that one.

I like my shrimp steamed with the shells on and then chilled. My sister visits for the Great Circus Parade every July, and we talk and eat our way through two pounds of those delicious crustaceans. There's just a big bowl of shrimp, lemon wedges and some fresh cocktail sauce made with fresh horseradish; we get caught up on a year?s family gossip.

The first section is simply called the BASICS, as it should be; how nice to start off with something a lot of us overlook. Does everyone really know how to make clarified butter or keep a great recipe for a basic pie pastry in his or her heads? I have a box full of my mother's recipes written on file cards and scraps of paper, so I consider myself lucky.

Martha goes a little overboard with Pate Brisse, Pate Sucree and Pate Feuilletee, which she has translated into Basic Pie Crust, Basic Sweet Crust and Puff Pastry for us. I have a feeling that this might just be some of the pretentious behavior that bugs some people.

Here are all the basic recipes you could ever want for every conceivable crust and pastry filling you could ever think of. Then she includes the basic toppings; nothing like plain frosting, but Creme Anglaise and Creme Patissiere and all things chocolate and candied fruit. Topping her favorite cake with chocolate curls or bark and chocolate leaves is basic to Martha. One day I watched TV as she made a three-tier wedding cake all covered with handmade Marzipan fruit. All I could say was, You go girl!

I must say here that all the recipes in this cookbook were easy to read and the directions were in everyday English. It irritates me to go to "Joy of Cooking" or my "Larousse Gastronomique" to look something up and be referred to 12 other recipes and pages before I can get down to brass tacks and start cooking.

In HORS D'OEUVRES Martha tells us how to make everything from Homemade Melba Toast to spicy Almonds and Peanuts Boiled with Star Anise (and watch how you pronounce Anise. The emphasis is in the last syllable). Martha's a stickler for that kind of thing. I grew up pronouncing herbs with a soft H. Martha uses a hard H and now I do too, just because I think it's a camp to ape her pronunciation. If we're going to do things this woman's way we might as well have fun doing it.

After learning how to make Wild Mushroom Heart Puffs (no, you don't have to go out and pick them, wild mushrooms from your local grocery will do), I went on to Crepes and Phyllo Triangles filled with an assortment of goodies like Feta and Spinach, Curried Walnut Chicken and Lobster fillings. I was glad to find the Phyllo in the freezer of the same store where I got those wild mushrooms. Whew, and my date is arriving at seven. Oh God, I wanted to make the Pickled Quails Eggs, too. He loved those the last time. Well, we'll just have to do without.

One would think that Soup would come next, but non merci, it's EGGS, and we all know how fond she is of the fruit of the hen. She has been known to use the colors of the shells to paint her walls and her sheets, too, have been colorized from this fragile substance. Here she includes everything from Breakfast Burritos to Omelettes and Chinese Egg Whites with Tomatoes. After a surfeit of cholesterol, we go on to BREADS and BISCUITS.

Here there are some line drawings that show you how to shape some of the breads and biscuits she gives recipes for. I looked to see if she did the drawings, too, but no such information. You can bet there would have been if she had. I guess we'll have to lay the blame on the Valentine Group, an internationally recognized design firm who is noted at the back of the book.

Finally it's SOUP! I really like soup. I like to make soup; it' therapy for me. I like nothing better than going to our local green market and finding some vegetable I have been waiting for all season. There it is in all it's glory, picked fresh that morning and saying, "Okay Mr. Smarty-pants, lets get cookin'." I immediately head home with my prize (two pounds of baby Okra) as I was hungery for a pot of Chicken Gumbo.

I looked in Martha's book and found two recipes for okra: skewered and a simple stew; no soup. I knew what I wanted to do, so I started with my chicken stock anyway. (Remember when you could go to the store and get a package of necks and backs for soup? Not in the big grocery chains we have here. I found a big package of wings on sale and those would do with the usual suspects like celery, onion, garlic, carrots and handful of Italian parsley from the tomato patch.

As my stock simmered away, I read about Apple-Butternut Squash soup (it sounds yummy), White Corn Chowder (that will be appearing at the green market any day now), and Pumpkin Soup in a Pumpkin. Again it sounds great but I think I'll forgo the container, but I like to make at least one Jack o' lantern every year to keep the bad sprits away. I found a Tucson Tomato soup I might try and that was about all that the Diva offered up that interested me. I doubt if I will run across any fresh muscles in Wisconsin so I can Billi Bi.

Next up was MEAT, with everything from a cold salad made with fillet to Flank Steak with Cilantro Sauce to a nice Osso Buco, which I will make if I every find veal shanks on sale. Martha is Polish and makes no bones about her heritage. I think that's great and I congratulate her on her ethnic spots on her TV show. The guests she has in are thrilled to show off for a national audience.

There were lots of lamb recipes, and lamb is another meat that I go cuckoo for when I can find it cheap. I'm going to thaw out some lamb ribs that I will marinade in soy sauce, cracked pepper and ginger before I roast them to a crisp. After draining off all the fat I make a pretty decent sauce by adding sauteed mushroom, lots of freshly sliced tomatoes and a dash of white wine. I'll have that over a bit of linguini, no thanks to Martha, but she did include a tantalizing roast with vegetables that made my mouth water.

After oodles of pork, ham and a few venison recipes I plowed through recipes for pates and sausages and on I went to the POULTRY section. Again, there are some drawings that show the home cook how stuff a chicken breast, but nothing on boning one out. I guess you are supposed to have your butcher do that for you. Martha supplies about four stuffing recipes that range from Herbs to more Herbs to Chevre (cheese), Spinach and Wild Mushrooms. I liked her Chicken Pojarsky with a paprika-thyme sauce better.

Turkey, duck, squab and pheasant follow in quick succession (there's NO goose), and off we go to FISH and SHELLFISH, which tells you how to bone and stuff a Salmon, should your fisher(person) bring one home. Martha is also big on Gravlax. Its paper-thin raw salmon as the Norwegians fix it. She even supplies us with a breakfast version. Yum! There are fishys in parchment, on skewers, grilled and pan-fried, except she calls it sauteed.

Lordy, I'm only half way through the book and we haven't even hit the Veggie section. Ahh, here it is with everything from artichokes to asparagus to Herbed Zucchini Saute. There are squash and tomato recipes and recipes that mix a lot of vegetables up in one pot; it's called Ratatouille and I love it.

All this bounty is followed by a section on SALADS and one devoted to POTATOES. Next there is a section on PASTAS, GRAINS and RICE which should please any vegetarian, as would the preceding chapters.

Martha slips in a chapter on how to entertain a crowd, which tells you how to set up The Ideal Home Bar (including equipment), a Holiday Party (including a recipe for Cassoulet), a Raw Bar, an Omelette Party, the Best Clambake and a Pasta Party. After a DESSERT section to end all dessert sections the queen of catering does DIPS SAUCES and BUTTERS, a quick course in PRESERVES, VINEGARS and MORE, followed by BEVERAGES, which tells you mostly about alcohol. There are a few non-alcoholic punches included for the nondrinkers and juveniles.

All in all this is a very nice book for Martha devotees and non- alike. Since it is a second-hand nifty-gifty item I haven't clue one as to how much it cost. I would think whatever the price, it would be worth it to have in a comprehensive cookbook collection.

So, get it or not as your heart tells you and, as that other diva of cooking says, Bon Appetite! (Clarkson/Potter Publishers ISBN: 0-517-70335-1).

Ed Grover - 2002