The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish, by Neil Gaiman

I think I’m just not meant to read Neil Gaiman’s children’s books. I mean, they’re okay, they’re interesting, he’s still got some great ideas. It’s just the writing. It’s so simple, and there’s almost no plot to them. That was my problem with THE WOLVES IN THE WALLS, and it’s my problem with THE DAY I SWAPPED MY DAD FOR TWO GOLDFISH.

Our narrator, an unnamed young boy, becomes enamored with the goldfish his friend Nathan brings over and after going through the entire inventory of his room, they finally settle on our narrator’s father as the item Nathan is willing to take in trade for the goldfish. When his mother comes home and sees what he’s done, she sends right back to Nathan’s to give the fish back and bring home his father. But Nathan’s traded the father for a guitar. He takes the guitar back, but his father’s now been traded for a gorilla mask. He takes the gorilla mask, but his father’s been traded for a rabbit. He takes the rabbit back and retrieves his father.

This is the plot. That’s everything that happens right there.

It’s a cute enough story, I suppose, but to read it to yourself, it just lays there and doesn’t do much. I’m sure I’ll get a better reaction reading it to my daughter. But this is why I’m not meant to read Gaiman’s children’s books. At least, not to myself.

I DO like to look at his children’s books, though, because Dave McKean does the art again and when you’re looking at McKean’s art, you just never know what you’re gonna get. The two, Gaiman and McKean, make a great team, I believe them both to be geniuses in their form, but it’s nice to see that when one of them is having an off day, the other is still there to pick up the slack. I could probably look through this book--and THE WOLVES IN THE WALLS for that matter--all day and never see everything there is to see.

THE DAY I SWAPPED MY DAD FOR TWO GOLDFISH is a very simple story and probably won’t entertain too many adults, even long-time Gaiman fans. You buy it if you’re a completist, read it once and shelve it, it’s definitely not one you’ll return to over and over, unless you’re reading it to your children, in which case, they’ll probably love it. After all, who wouldn’t have loved a story, when they were young, about swapping a parent for a goldfish?