Oh, mah achin' banana!

After helming two motion pictures ("Lifeforce" and "Invaders from Mars") for Cannon, Tobe Hooper was permitted to complete his three-movie contract by directing a sequel to his iconic horror film. Eager to defy expectations, dissatisfied with the general public's inability to perceive the pitch-black deadpan humor of the first movie and unwilling to churn out what might amount to an updated retread of the cannibalistic classic, Hooper opted to make "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" as a satire that spoofed its predecessor. "Paris, Texas" screenwriter L.M. Kit Carson wrote the script with Hooper, exchanging the first movie's friendly hippies for obnoxious yuppies as the most prominent members of the on-screen body count/menu. In addition to his function as associate producer of this movie, Carson also extensively rewrote the shooting script on-set, tweaking it on the fly as circumstances warranted and imaginations flared. At the conclusion of a backbreaking shoot during which scheduled time was limited, Hooper produced something inverse to his first major accomplishment: a dark comedy framed in the context of a horror movie.

Although the screening of an early rough cut left the cast and crew very amused, Cannon execs - and more importantly, Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus themselves - came away thoroughly dissatisfied. Cannon produced genre movies tailored to satisfy expectations, and while the average Golan-Globus production was seldom representative of a good film, the Israeli schlockmeisters had paid for a straightforward horror movie and were determined to have one. Hooper was ordered to shoot more carnage, and several humorous and surreal sequences were omitted from the theatrical cut, which is an uneven, albeit entertaining product. It's not that "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" isn't funny; to the contrary, every other scene is likely to induce at least a chuckle. The humor is there, but in such a limited context that this version of the movie is mostly stripped of any thematic coherence. In forcing Hooper and Carson to compromise what they'd created, neither Cannon nor their talent got what they wanted.

At its very best, TCM2 revives the crazed, inspired lunacy of the first movie with heaping helpings of brutality that are far more gory than anything seen in the preceding film, a few great scares and no small amount of goofy, manic capering by its redneck antagonists. However, the real stars of this picture - and the best reasons to watch it - are Tom Savini's inventive, gloriously gory special effects and brilliant sets by Cary White and Michael Peal. Fans of Savini won't be disappointed; he and his team realized every disgusting detail of the script's bloodiest scenes with overwhelming, gruesome results. The second half of TCM2 occurs within the bowels of a massive, grotesque subterranean cave, the hodgepodge design and dressing of which are nothing short of astonishing. The grisly detail and enormity of these sets enabled Hooper to achieve the full scope of his project.

Even though the cast is often overshadowed by the amazing visuals of the production, there are quite a few amusing performances herein. Jim Siedow was the only cast member to reprise a role from the first movie as the patriarch of the Texan cannibal clan, and he's perfect for the part, constantly ranting and spewing out ridiculous backwater insults. Even though he has less screen time than the rest of the ensemble, Dennis Hopper is afforded top billing as the only famous actor in the cast. Hopper engages the madness of his role impressively, but his attempt at a Texan accent is glaringly inauthentic, especially in comparison to those of the many Austin natives in the film; the trouble here is that it's impossible for him to sound like anything other than himself. Caroline Williams is especially loud and likable as the requisite screaming female victim. Without a doubt, the most outrageous performance on display here is that of Bill Moseley, who adopts Edwin Neal's manic mannerisms as a twin brother to the prior actor's Hitchhiker character. This is surely one of the most deranged, energetic and revolting performances in the genre's history, and Moseley exhibits himself as a truly gifted character actor.

Despite all of TCM2's admirable qualities, the movie sports just as many glaring flaws. The opening narration and crawl (which implements a typeface identical to that of the first film) would have been extremely effective if they weren't inexplicably rushed. The score, composed by Hooper and sound production wizard Jerry Lambert, boasts a memorably cheesy opening theme, but it's performed on an FM synthesizer, utilizing thin, tinny tones that sound suspiciously like presets. An orchestral rendering would surely have produced better results, but ultimately, like so many horror pictures, the film could have done without a score. The ending is utterly moronic, and burdened by one of the worst re-imaginings of the trademark chainsaw dance. Worst of all, the sloppy editing by frequent Golan-Globus associate and occasional hack director Alain Jakubowicz compromises the effect of many exciting scenes by cutting them to be as predictable as could be expected.

Two of the movie's best scenes were discarded during post-production. The first of these depicts the butchering of a rowdy, drunken yuppie gang in an underground car park, and is succeeded by another that finds Leatherface hacking up a pair of spoiled, aloof yuppettes while John "Joe Bob Briggs" Bloom enthusiastically evaluates his handiwork. Carson claims that these scenes were too silly for Cannon's intentions, while Hooper has mentioned that, as portions of a longer sequence that was never completed, they were cut in the interest of maintaining a better pace and reasonable runtime. The director's cut of this feature, which has been widely distributed on DVD and well-received, restores plenty of substantial footage, but the movie could have been so much more effective if the aforementioned scenes had been somehow utilized, and many other pivotal scenes in the script had been shot for inclusion in the first place.

The first and most important distinction between this feature-rich "Gruesome Edition" of TCM2 and the bare-bones 2000 DVD is that the aspect ratio differs between the two: the prior disc features the original 1.85:1 theatrical version of the film as well as the 1.33:1 pan-and-scan version, whereas this provides a more accessible 1.78:1 version in addition to an extra minute of restored footage. The visual quality of both editions is fine, if unexceptional; compression artifacts are difficult to detect unless this is viewed on either a very large TV or projected screen. The real treat of this disc is its exceptional sound quality, rendered in Dolby Digital 5.1 via an excellent transfer from the movie's Ultra Stereo mix. Every revolting slap of flesh on concrete or menacing buzz of murderous hardware sounds as vivid as reality! Amazon's product details are incorrect: this disc does not feature a French language audio track. Bold, white, competently translated subtitles in English, French and Spanish are available.

The task of navigating the film is quite easy, as the scene selections spread 28 scenes across 7 screens of titled static thumbnails. I was hoping for video thumbnails similar to the video montage of this edition's grimy main menu. Ah, well.

Apparently, one significant selling point of this disc is the commentary track voiced by Tobe Hooper and filmmaker David Gregory, who directed the "Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The Shocking Truth" documentary. In fact, this is highlighted by a bold yellow sticker on most copies of this edition that I've seen, which implies that, at least among horror fans, Hooper's is a household name. Unfortunately, it's hardly a great commentary track, and certainly nowhere near as informative and amusing as the one he recorded with Gunnar Hansen and Daniel Pearl (the cinematographer, not the absurdly overrated Zionist journalist and Neocon tool who was publicly Darwined by a group of rowdy Paki Mohammedans) for TCM. Hooper is very sedate, sometimes difficult to hear, but amiable nonetheless. Gregory drives the track by questioning Hooper about a variety of details, but the filmmaker's memory is consistently unreliable.
A second commentary track featuring Bill Moseley, Caroline Williams and Tom Savini makes this disc worth buying, and is one of several answers to the question, "What do you get from three extroverts when they watch and discuss a film that they made two decades ago?" These three are a lot of fun and almost as manic as the movie itself, and while this feature is more silly than informative, they all have entertaining stories to tell about the demanding, sometimes harrowing experience of making this picture. This probably deserved a sticker too, as Moseley and Savini are at least as recognizable as Hooper to enthusiasts of the genre, and are well known to be entertaining in their own right.

I am not generally fond of featurettes, and the token documentary of this DVD, "It Runs in the Family," has not changed my opinion. It's what one might expect: a lot of interesting videotaped behind-the-scenes footage (almost all of which was provided by Savini) and extensive interviews with the cast and crew, the latter of whom are generally more interesting, especially considering that most of what the actors have to say was discussed at length on the second commentary track. For whatever reason, this featurette is presented in an episodic format; each chapter sports an opening sequence and end credits, which are tedious and inefficient. On the other hand, Moseley dons his rotten rubber hillbilly teeth, takes up his coat hanger and performs his Chop-top voice, which is fun.

The mediocre and slightly misleading theatrical trailer (which, unfortunately, is edited more effectively than the movie itself) is included, just as it was on the prior DVD edition.

The disc's six still galleries contain: on-set photos shot between and during takes; scans of the many VHS, LD and DVD releases as well as those of the soundtrack LP and audiocassette; American, Japanese, German and French advertisements; colorful French, Spanish and American lobby cards; dozens of film stills; theatrical posters; American, Japanese, Spanish and Italian advertisements for VHS tapes and merchandise; numerous photos of effects in construction, as well as a photograph of Hooper, wearing the Dr. Pepper hat that Savini built for him.

"The Cutting Room Floor" exhibits five cut scenes, all of which are presented in very rough AV quality that looks and sounds like that of a fifth-generation SLP-recorded VHS tape; some of the dialogue in these was never recorded and is displayed in subtitles. Three of these scenes are taken from the infamous, aforementioned unfinished sequence. The alternate opening credits are actually much more effective than those of the finished cut, scored by different music (passages of which can be heard throughout the movie) and displayed against the eerie backdrop of a cloudy, moonlit night sky. A slightly different version of the idiotic final scene is also included, which is somehow even dumber.

All in all, this is a fine package - MGM has produced a DVD that's sure to satisfy this movie's rabid, slowly expanding cult fan base. Considering that this one is becoming more popular than its predecessor in some circles, that's probably a smart move.

This review was first posted to Amazon on May 21, 2009: http://www.amazon.com/review/R31NFPCNIC1RRA/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm
An uncensored, noncommercial version is available on my blog: http://harkabrazencur.blogspot.com/2009/05/film-review-texas-chainsaw-massacre-2.html