Jeff Foxworthy Said So—I AM Smarter Than a 5th grader

When it comes to video games, I’m a simple kind of guy. The last console I owned: a Super Nintendo (which I still like playing from time to time). No Playstation, X-Box, N64 or Wii (though the Wii sounds mighty cool). But I have owned every version of Nintendo’s Game Boy, and now the Nintendo DS. I love the portability for vacations, and the ease of kicking back in any room for a few minutes of gaming.

I don’t do well with the really complex games. You know, the “push A, B, L, X and then move your control pad up twice then down three times” just to master one move. I grew up on the Atari 2600—give me some basic left/right controls and one or two buttons to master (reasons why one of my favorite DS games is Space Invaders….just like my first Atari 2600 game). What’s more, I enjoy the simple games because I can play a quick round in a few minutes, not the hours and hours it can take to master a level.

I’m also a proud game show addict. From my old Commodore 64 to the Super Nintendo and through every iteration of Game Boy, I’ve loved playing game show adaptations. That’s why when I saw there was a DS version of one of my favorite current quiz shows, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, it made my wish list this Christmas—a game show adaptation that’s easy to play and doesn’t require a huge time investment.

If you’re not familiar with the TV show, here’s the quick rundown: contestants answer grade-school questions in 10 different categories (two from 1st grade, etc.), for increasing amounts of money. A ‘class’ of central-casting ten- and eleven-year-olds play along, helping the contestant up to three times in a game (aka ‘cheats’). It sounds like it should be a complete no-brainer, but as many otherwise smart people have demonstrated, it’s amazing how many of the factoids we all studied for in elementary school have slipped our minds.

Game play on the DS is actually quite similar to the TV version, with the exception of every question being multiple choice (or true/false). From the familiar theme song to host Jeff Foxworthy’s digital voice prompting you—or chiding you when you make a mistake—to a cyber ‘class’ of students who are wrong sometimes, just like the real kids, it’s an instantly familiar experience.

Just like on TV, you begin the game by picking one of the kids to play along for two questions. You’re then presented with the list of 10 categories (commonly they’re a mix of science, math, English and social studies topics). Tapping the face of the cyber student playing with you will show you which three or four categories that ‘student’ is supposedly strongest in—and therefore is most likely to answer correctly if you need to cheat off of them.

While first-grade questions are obviously generally simpler than fifth-grade subjects, you can pick questions in any order (unlike something like Millionaire, where you have to start with the “Duh” question and work your way up to the braniac level).

There’s no time limit that I’ve discovered on answering a question, but beware—once you tap the answer you want on the screen, that’s it. No “final answer” confirmation here (which is kind of amusing, since you have to confirm your choice of which student to use, but not the answer you give). If you’re not completely confident in your answer, you can pick from the three ‘cheats’:

1-Copy: you’re turning your fate over to the cyber student with this one. Whatever answer they give, right or wrong, becomes your answer. I’ve used this option in many games, and I’d estimate the student is right about 75% of the time, with the highest percentages coming on the questions in the lower grades.

2-Peek: a safer alternative, letting you see what the cyber student selected. Again, here I estimate about 75% of the time it turns out to be the correct answer. This is a good ‘cheat’ to use when you have an idea but want a sanity check.

3-Save: a different kind of ‘cheat’ than the others; if you give the wrong answer but the cyber student gave the correct response, you continue playing.

You can use each ‘cheat’ only once, and once all three are gone, you don’t get any more help from the ‘class.’

The dollar value of each question grows, from $1,000 for your first answer to $500,000 for the 10th question. The $25,000 level is a guarantee—even if you miss a question after that point, your score will be $25,000.

Like most of the big-money quiz shows, you can quit if you’re not willing to risk a wrong answer. In keeping with the school motif, it’s called ‘dropping out’ in 5th Grader. But let’s be honest—while many of us would walk away when we’re playing for real money and weren’t sure, there’s no reason to quit in a video game, unless you just like seeing your name in the high scores section over and over. Unlike on TV, you can keep coming back no matter how many times you flunk out.

If you manage to complete all 10 questions, you can do what only one person on TV has ever done—take a stab at the million dollar question, another fifth-grade level question in one subject). (The guy who tried to answer it on TV lost, by the way.) As on TV, the rule is a little different than with the other questions: you can see the category and decide to walk away with you half million, but if you agree to see the question, you have to answer it. I reached the million dollar question once so far on the DS version, and obviously I tried it—if I was risking real money on TV, my wife would kill me. They don’t ask you a multiple choice question on the DS version (come on, there has to be a little extra challenge)—you select the letters to enter your answer, so spell carefully.

Luckily my question was in social studies, about the branches of our government, so I nailed it, and got the cyber confetti drop on the screen, with the animated Foxworthy telling me I was, in fact, smarter than a 5th grader.

A Quick Summary:
Graphics: this is not a graphics-driven game; in keeping with the show, you’re basically looking at a computerized version of a chalkboard, with six animated people popping in and out of the game (the five students and the Foxworthy character).

Sound: again, basic sounds are all you need for this type of game. Foxworthy’s quips repeat fairly often (for anyone who’s played the Madden football games on DS, think of how often in each game you hear Madden’s voice tell you how the quarterback needs to deliver the ball to the receiver each time there’s an incomplete pass). The theme song plays in the beginning and sounds just like the TV version.

Controls: easy. Use the stylus to tap on everything—that’s all there is to it.