sweet fancy moses!!!

forsooth! if thou shalt desire a vehicle of manly fortitude, look no further! the pontiac VIM (6000, for the layman) is truly a mighty steed in all aspects.
truth be told, i have purchased myself a wagon of the same model. it is a fine coach of kingly estate as well. i must say, it is indeed a great transport in many respects. for instance, it is built with mercury speed for it's engine class. it can accelerate at incredible velocity, i might add. my vehicle has become the drag race champion of northwestern chicago suburbs, easily conquering all foolish enough to challenge my might! the size of the "shaggin' wagon," as so named by my fellows in arms, is considerable with consideration to passengers, though it remains small enough to easily maneuver. even the wagon handles precisely in all but the most adverse conditions. a skilled warrior...er..driver such as myself can handle such a vehicle with the greatest of ease.
its prodigious power is perfectly capable of destroying all would be attackers. i have experienced a collision of massive destruction thrice in the last year. yet all the damages were done to the opposing car; the wagon suffered but paltry repairs with a quiet strength and dignity. it is built to withstand the mightiest of blows. peons lament the days when american automotive facilities could produce a metal tank capable of standing up to the powerful european supercars of the future.
many stallions of today exact quite a large toll on the owner whereas the 6000 requires minimal fees of the same nature. even the initial price is miniscule when compared to many used vehicles of today.
in addition, with a few minor modifications, the youth of modern times will not totally embarrass themselves while piloting the beast. with a brand new cd player and the dubious purchase of a subwoofer by my brother, the wagon has the mammoth sound intensity to crush all those who oppose it with a superior blast of amplified vibration. bow before the might that is the shaggin' wagon and kneel to obey my brutal commands as they are issued.
mileage is moderate, if not above average. no peasant has ever rued the day he has bought this stately coach! so if thou art in need of transportation of royal status, the pontiac 6000 series is more than any lord or lady could ask for! i also might add that i highly recommend the safari wagon. it has yet to fail me in any fashion!
so until the day that one finds a ride as mighty as mine -- a feat not likely to be completed -- , i shall rule the roads with an iron fist, conquering all who stand before me like the puny road apples they are. already i have glimpsed two others on the road, boldly facing up to me with a glint of arrogance in their headlights. i will not allow such conceited reprobates to best me in combat! i implore you: find a vehicle of the aforementioned description and stand with me in battle! until that day, i say good day to you, sir.