My, what big teeth you have....

The collective reaction of my siblings and myself when my father brought home this boat several years ago was one of mild apathy and disregard. For years I hardly drove it, succumbing to the masculine Southern pressures around me and sticking to my Jeep. However, since the Olds 88 was the most practical and feasible car for me to have in college, I've come to respect and appreciate it. Personal possessive value rationalization? Maybe partly. But my appreciation for this vehicle goes deeper than that..

While the facade and image of the pre-21st century Oldsmobile carries "old person mobile" implications, I've found that this seemingly sedate grandmother wagon can really haul. Six cylinders of raw American-made power..I often surprise the Civic driver in the next lane who thinks they're going to burn past me. However, it is still a soft kind of power. Meaning that acceleration may be quick, but it's far from hard-hitting. I would describe it as smooth..like butter. Being of the young male variety of Homo sapiens, I would prefer a more aggressive and responsive vehicle like a BMW 5 series. But with ever-present college tuition, I'll happily settle for this.

On the highway, the ride is exceptional as long as the needle is below 80. Relatively low cabin noise and no vibrations. Never had problems with alignment. Also, the car is so heavy as to provide a sense of security.

In the city, especially one with a lot of potholes, dips, and bumps, the ride gets really bouncy. I'm pretty sure the current shocks are factory stock, so I assume most comparable Oldsmobiles fail to absorb shock in similar fashion. You get used to it, though, because it's oddly comforting and annoying at the same time.

This car is really spacious. A lot of leg room in the front and back, and a pretty large trunk. I've managed to fit a full-size keyboard, two guitars, an amp, two violins, numerous boxes, a lot of clothes, and more in this vehicle, and after all that I could still see what was behind me!
Of course there's no comparison, but I like to imagine that I'm driving something like a Mercedes saloon. I take pride in the knowledge that my back-seat passengers have plenty of room. Call me crazy, but there's something faintly luxurious about space.

Interior amenities are plentiful, from separate driver-and-passenger climate control to steering wheel audio and climate controls. The front armrest doubles as a storage compartment and it can fold up to reveal a seat... bringing comfortable capacity to six.

I've had only one major problem while driving this car. In hot weather, the engine would sometimes sputter and stall out with the vehicle stopped and the transmission in drive. It was really frustrating, since I would have to slip the trans into neutral every time I came to a stoplight. Some module had to be replaced, but now it runs just fine. Since this was a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down, I'm perfectly happy driving it since it's entirely paid for. However, I might invest in a German breed some day, when I finally have to lay this American beauty to rest.