The Bastard Stepchild of Al Franken and Rush Limbaugh

If Al Franken and Rush Limbaugh could somehow have a baby together, that would be one ugly SOB. This would be like comparing apples and oranges, as it is an impossible feat, that would be more painful than jumping off a building, and landing on a bike with no seat. The mainstream media is similar to these two megomanical egotistical talking heads, as it is either liberal leaning or right wing. There is the Fox News Network, or Turner Broadcasting, that cover both ends of the spectrum. Hannity and Colmes face off against each other every night, leading to viewers needing an alcoholic beverage and aspirin for their headaches. In print form, there is the Washington Post and the Washington Times. There is also Time and The U.S. News and World Report.

Like most Americans and people throughout the world, I believe strongly in the art of moderation in all things.(With the exception of attending strip joints, gambling, and driving speed) That is why I subscribe to the magazine Newsweek, because it always hovers in the political center. I look forward to its arrival in my mailbox every week, and its usually offers two days of excellent reading material. The standard issue is around 70-75 pages, with an occasional double edition. My subscription price is $20 per year, which was offered by Newsweek. I'm still not sure why I got this rate, but I believe it was because I subscribed years ago, and let it expire without renewing. There are plenty of good deals for this magazine through online brokers, and even the company itself, in its subscription cards that are placed in the middle of each newsstand magazine. This is a much better deal than its newsstand cost of $4.95 an issue, which is in the range of being "hurricane priced."

If you are a news junkie, in addition to being hooked on Smack and barbituates, you'll find plenty of up to date information in each issue. The first four feature articles cover current events, with a lot of emphasis on political stories and international events. Some of the recent topics include the Iraq War, Barack Obama, the Darfur Crisis, Ted Kennedy shaving his head due to his failed attempts of sobriety, and Anna Nicole Smith is alive just like Elvis is. Most of these articles are in the 2-3 page length, which is enough to provide important details without overwhelming your last remaining brain cells. As I described earlier, the tilt is completely moderate, which allows you to analyze important issues without having to decipher through political propoganda.

In addition to news stories, there are also articles emphasizing financial advice and lifestyles. I like some of these, although I would like a recipe of the month, like Playboy has. Some of these articles focus on health issues, such as depression, high blood pressure, cancer, and canker sores. Others have investigated the effects of religion and praying on health conditions of terminally ill patients, or have given an in depth perspective on women's studies at local universities. If you like learning about how Ipods are the bane of our existence, or why gas prices continue to affect the economy, look no further than this section. I'm still wondering how artisans put those ships into the little glass bottles, but Newsweek hasn't done an article on this yet.

If you enjoy reading stupid quotes from politicians, or rather funny statements from ordinary citizens, be sure to check out the Perspectives Section. This is always near the front of each issue, and this is where you'll also find three cartoons. They are almost always hilarious, relevant, and many of them have been passed out to close family members, dysfunctional family members, friends, enemies, and co-workers. Most of these are political in nature, and they seem to balance out any partisanship here as well. Considering politicians of all parties are stupid, this doesn't take too much effort. If you want to see where your favorite politician is, check out the Conventional Wisdom area. This shows their view of how the recent weeks have been for them, or A-list celebrities who seem to fill every minute of cable news television.

I like Newsweek a lot. It is my favorite news oriented publication, and this is mostly due to its even sided coverage. In addition to this level of fairness, it also has some of the most interesting and informative articles that I've read anywhere, and I truly look forward to seeing it. I enjoy reading it while eating dinner, and there are enough positive stories to prevent any occurences of Heartburn. If you want to stay informed on national and world events, subscribe to this magazine. Its good for the whole family, and even your children might find it to be a good resource for school projects. This makes it worth its weight in gold, and I look forward to extending my subscription.