Payne to the Max!

While lapsing in and out between stupors (via alcohol -- say no to it, kids!) I noticed some friends of my friends playing what looked like a cool game on the X-Box: Max Payne. I'd heard scant information about it; my friend who went with me said he knew about it seeing as how he was steeped in gaming lore via gaming magazines. As I focused in on the action I noticed something odd that I hadn't seen with any other action game: Max Payne, surrounded by three guys with guns, suddenly dives in the air and the time around him seemed to slow down. While in the air he locked on to two of the bad guys and mowed them down with Ingram fire, the third being taken down by swift movement of the second analog stick. By the time Payne landed on the ground all three guys were dead and Max was without a scratch. I shook my head. Was that the notorious Bullet Time that I'd heard about? Needless to say I was hooked; Max Payne must belong in my collection.
Over the next few weeks I scraped the money together to get this game for the PlayStation 2. Upon succeeding in doing so I added Max Payne as the black sheep to my small collection of RPG's. I immediately popped the game in and I was off. Payne to the max.

"Payne!!! I'll kill ya, ya lousy, freakin' cop!!!" -- Voice Acting

I love to hate voice actor Joe Dallo, the man behind Vincent Gognitti's voice. Throughout the game you'll encounter voice acting as the plot unfolds, some are as good (and annoying) as Gognitti, and others are as bad as the Finito Brothers. Max Payne (played by James McCaffrey, Uma Thurman's @$$hole boyfriend in The Truth About Cats & Dogs) has a low, gravely voice similar to Bruce Willis. It's very appropriate considering the dark mood and atmosphere of the game, requiring a hard boiled, no bull-$#%^ cop with nerves of steel. Co-stars to the game are, of course, Vinnie Gognitti, a voice that makes you think of a cartoon character gone wrong or a bad John Leguizamo impression. There's a femme fatale named Nicole Horne who proves to be the villain of the game (which is hard to say seeing as how there's quite a handful).
The cons to this of course is the tendancy to have the voice actors over act their lines. Gognitti goes a little overboard sometimes as does Max Payne himself. Then again, it could just be the over to top dialogue these guys are forced to read. Every line in the game sounds like a one liner; it's so bad you often stop to wonder if there's really a script or just an anthology of quips and drippy metaphors. "Pain to the max", "Outside it was as cold as the Devil's heart", "The snow fell like icy pitchforks", "...that other city, Noir York City", "All he had succeeded in doing was getting my attention" and of course, "No Payne, no gain." And on, and on...

"You're in a computer game, Max!" -- Game Play
I made the horrendous mistake of learning to play this game while ill with a flu. My sinuses were jammed to the max (no pun intended) and pressure, dizziness, nausea, and no equilbrium type wackiness was in full pursuit. Not good when trying to play a game with a sensitive stick control. At first I was aggravated over the fact that I had to use both sticks to move and aim. Argh!
Two weeks later when I was healthy again and without illness I tried again and found myself faring better than last. In Max Payne you will utilize ALL buttons of the PlayStation controller, and I mean ALL. The left analog stick is to move in whatever direction you're pointed in while the right analog stick is used to aim and point in whatever direction it is you want. Square reloads your weapon, triangle acts as an auto-weapon, automatically arming you with the best weapon in your arsenal (e.g., carrying a Pump Action Shotgun while possessing a Colt Commando; press triangle and voila! You're carrying the Colt); circle to heal (if you have painkillers in your stash), and "x" acts as the action/selecting button. Control pad is used only to browse your weapon stash, L1 activates a Bullet Time dodge where you dive out while time stands still, giving you time to drop as many mofo's as you can -- but beware! Your Bullet Time gauge goes down the more you use it and the only way to restore it is to kill more bad guys. R1 acts as trigger so feel free to press it often. L1 is Bullet Time w/o a dodge or if you configure the controller the way I did it then you can have auto-aim instead of Bullet Time. Auto-aim is very self-explanatory with the only caveat being that if you're facing three dudes around the corner and you want to pop the first one that comes out auto-aim may select some guy that's not coming around the corner, leaving you focusing on this guy and not on the one coming at you with two Ingrams. It's going to take time to get used to aiming and moving, and fortunately the sensitivity of the sticks can be customized. However, once you get used to the controls then this game will rock beyond all comparison. Bullet time will become a daily habit as you twist and turn and inflict massive amounts of pain...pain to the max.

"No, please Max!!! I'm sorry!!! I didn't mean to!" -- Graphics & Misc
This game looks WAY BETTER on a PC. Of course, it came out on a PC first, but still...
Everything looks all polygoned and there's actually load time in this thing! There's times in the game where you kill someone and to make it cool the last guy you kill is shot in a bullet time close up! But somehow their heads are rendered into the wall; physically impossible! Whenever the load time glitches the game then the voice acting won't come on! Just the music! How gay! In the PC version you could save at any point in the game! In the PS2 version you can't! That sucks!
Sorry, had hot flash back there. If you've played one of the last cool games for the N64, Goldeneye, then you'll realize that the polygons for that game are basically the same here. Everything has that signature blocky look (like Ben Affleck's head) and even running style, and for the weirdest reason, there's only a handfull of faces for each person. Though, I suppose it isn't that all bad, I mean, it is cool looking when you throw a Molotov Cocktail into a group of V-Junkies. And they scream so nicely! Hopefully when the sequel comes out (yes, there's a sequel coming...or so the ending credits tell me).

"She knew how this would all end. In pain and suffering." -- Plot
You are Maxwell Payne, new husband and now a new father to a baby girl. Seasoned member of the NYPD with a nice house on the Jersey side (wonder if it's the same town from that movie, Copland). Alex, your bro from the DEA, keeps pestering you about becoming an agent. You decline, of course. After all, marriage and fatherhood is important than working longer hours and risking your life more than what your family would like. You even quit smoking; "It's bad for the baby." And so, as you drive home one afternoon at the end of your shift, the sun seems to be setting on your American dream...as well as something else.
The minute you enter the door you're alarmed. Things are thrown all over the place and you can hear voices upstairs. On the wall is a black graffitti marking of the letter "V" with a syringe in the middle, hanging in the air like a Sword of Damocles. V? "V" for what? Drawing your 9mm you dash upstairs past old photos of good times, newspaper clippings, and family portraits. Suddenly your wife screams; the baby starts crying.
A harsh, violent voice rages. "Shut that thing up!"
"No!", your wife screams, "NOT MY BABY!!!"
Your legs can't move fast enough, each joint steadily dissolves into a sea of atrophined quick sand. You pant and grunt, pumping all your strength out of your body, hoping to --
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
"NO!!!"
You reach the door to the baby's room, your vision gone from clear to red. The door flies open. Two men, both packing guns. The gun kicks in your hand as you put a round into each of their heads. By the time their heads slap the floor you're in the next room where --
("No, not my baby!!!")
A small, tiny arm lies outstretched underneath a bloody blanket. The crib has been turned over. A woman's scream cuts the air followed by a gun shot.
"Oh, no, please God, no!"
You're faster than a bullet, blinded by grief and anger. Your wife lies with a puddle of rapidly growing blood on her stomach. She lies there like Cinderella waiting for her Prince Charming...but no kiss can wake her from the nap she has taken. The last perp smiles. The last bullet wipes away that smile. You drop the smoking gun and cradle her head in your arms. The emotion of it all. The blood. The carnage. The horror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
After the funeral you tell Alex you're transferring to the DEA to look for the drug that turned those junkies into demons. V. V for Valkyr. Years later you make a break in the case. A lead points to the Mafia and Alex suggests you go undercover. Your status as an officer of the law is erased from the databases and your new identity as Max Payne the career criminal comes into being. You walk off into the dark, your Beretta digging into your side. Whoever did this will pay; there would be no more families dead at the hands of drug induced devils. There would be no more Valkyr poisoning the worthwhile remnants of civilization. The only thing left for you -- and those on your steadily growing hit list -- was pain. Pain and suffering.
A lifetime ago you were once Max Payne, proud father and husband, beaming officer of justice. That man died three years ago, the bullet that went through your wife's heart also went through yours. You are now Max Payne, the avatar of revenge.


"They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger. And then it was all over."