Myself, Some Paint, and a Night with Avril Lavigne

Say the name Avril Lavigne in a chat room and the responses are wild. The words punk, poseur, skater, and pop fly like, well, popcorn. Seventeen-year-old Avril (now 20) hails from Napanee, Ontario. Known for being the current “rebel” of pop music, the same title given to Michelle Branch only a year ago, Avril looks down on skimpy clothes and the glitter that pop star fame can be. "She is such a poseur" one girl said in a chat room on a popular IRC server. The same has been said on MTV.com “Her punk look looks like it came off the pages of Teen People.”

I myself had only heard "Complicated" up until she started turning heads with her attitude. It was her confidence on the edge of ego that convinced me to buy her CD and find out just exactly, what she was so sure about.

I had the CD a few days before I even got around to hearing it. Finally, at 3am one night, while everyone else slept, I slipped it into my CD player and put on my headphones. I lean against a wall and close my eyes.

Suddenly they open. What is this? This chick is seventeen? SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD?! I'm listening to the first track, “Losing Grip.” With a hard electric guitar and heavy (almost to the point of overproduction) music she starts softly “Are you aware of what you make me feel...” and then the music begins to pick up. By the end of the first chorus, I'm scrambling around my closet to find a canvas and my paint. She is almost screaming the chorus “Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone.” I have to sit down. She is throat singing, almost yodeling some of the lyrics, singing, screaming, and whispering. I am in shock. “For crying out loud, I’m crying out loud.” She could express more anger in one chorus than I could if I screamed at the top of my lungs for two hours.

The song ends. I blink, and I press pause. I search the Internet for a photo of her, and decide to paint a portrait as I listen to the rest. It's my first inspiration in weeks. I lean against the wall, canvas propped on my legs. The lights are off, and all I can see is her face on my computer screen: a sad closeup, in black and white. I press play once more. I take a deep breath and start painting.

“Complicated” is the second song. A slow jam tune, I bob my head in rhythm with the drum and listen to her sing of a friend who seems a little too fake at times. I've heard this a million times on the radio, but somehow, being able to look at her and hear her sing it - it gives me a strange feeling. Like I can feel what she felt. It’s crazy how a little round disc can do that.

Just as I start to mellow out “Sk8er Boi” pops on. Quick and electric, it's the story of a ballerina and a punk she likes, but refuses to be with. If anyone else sang this song, honestly, I probably would have to turn up my nose at it. I want to get up and jump around, but everyone is sleeping. I smile, this song is so...Avril.

I'm smiling as the fourth track, "I'm With You" eases its way on. Slow and soft, her voice is almost alone in the rich melody. I hear the music, and I hear her, but they are not together somehow - until the chorus. I feel like crying. (Note I am 2500 miles from my home in Pennsylvania, up late at night, feeling very lonely.) "Nothings going right everythings a mess, and no one likes to be alone." Between the sadness in her voice, the lyrics, and my homesickness, I am more or less crying on the floor. I look at her eyes; I look at my canvas, and start to get into it. Around 2:20 into the song, she calls out a "Yeaaaaaaaaah" that breaks me into goosebumps. I turn up the volume, I paint, I cry, I listen. “I'm With You” is by far my favorite of several ballads on the album.

Lucky for me, the album picks up again on “Mobile,” which tells about Avril's dealing with homesickness. It’s got a funky almost country sound “Hanging from the ceiling, life’s a mobile, spinning round
with mixed feelings, crazy and wild.” I jam along while I paint.

“Unwanted” is angry, high paced and electric. It's about being shut out by someone. “You don't know me, don't ignore me,” it's the rocker on the disc and it's very powerful. I relate to this song, probably more than any other track on the disc. Her voice sounds so hurt and angry that it's impossible to not feel this song.

On to track seven, “Tomorrow” is another ballad, mostly acoustic sounding. Telling of a lack of trust for someone who repeatedly makes empty promises, I should mail this to some of my ex boyfriends. By the last chorus, I am singing along.

I'm beginning to wonder where the bad songs on this CD are. “Anything but Ordinary” starts out building you up for a hard rock sound, and then drops into a quick little riff. The lyrics are adorable, the beat is happy, and although she is begging to be “anything but ordinary” in the song, it somehow seems a little ordinary to me. I like it, but it wasn't as amazing as the first few songs.

So I am expecting to be let down on the last few tracks. “Things I'll Never Say” has a catchy little beginning, and it must be confessed, I have tried to sing the da-da-da sequence from the beginning of the song, and it is impossible. I am impressed. The song tells about trying to be good enough for a love, and being afraid to let go around them. With coy phrases such as "I wanna blow you.........away" and "I wanna see you go down..........on one knee" it makes for a good happy day tune.

“My World” starts out sounding almost like the previous track. It sounds REALLY country, and even the style is country. It tells about her life, biographical, and she even gives a shout out to Nappanee in the first verse. It’s cute, but it country, and I still to this day can't decide what I think of the song overall.

“Nobody's Fool” - Now, in most reviews this is the song I have seen put down most, and I just can’t understand why. This is the only track I gave two listens on my way through. She talk/raps the verses, and sings in the chorus about her lack of willingness to change. I admire this girl, I really do. She pulls it off well in a place where most would crash and burn.

My second favorite on the album was “Too Much to Ask.” I LOVE the lyric "its funny when you think its gonna work out, ‘til you chose weed over me, you're so lame.” She sings about someone too involved with themselves to be able to let themselves feel emotion. I know so many people that are the same way. I relate to this. It’s slow and catchy, it's the track I put on most during the day.

So, I am at the last track, and my painting is just about done. I am wondering what to expect. "Naked" is a catchy ballad about feeling insecure around someone and having them help you gain trust in them. It reminds me of the beginning stages of pretty much any relationship.

For being in the dark, the painting came out well, and I have a new artist to add to my list of favorites. I feel a lot of emotion. I read a little more on Avril, she spent time in New York writing. She more or less lived in the studio, but somehow she felt out of place, and decided to make a switch to Los Angeles. In L.A., she hooked up with producer/songwriter Cliff Magness. They instantly clicked, and the songs for “Let Go” began to pour out.

Her album came together, and she hooked up a band of “hotties” as she likes to call them and spends her time traveling and promoting her music. Avril sounds much better live in my opinion, and I'm not one to like live music much. Rolling Stone and AOL feature several of her sessions and they're all amazing. Her voice has the ability to drawl or carry a yell, even yodeling sounds right in her music, and yodeling isn't considered very 'in style'.

It’s just another way of showing how Avril really does have talent. She may be picked at for little things she does, but hey, we were all seventeen once.

Her voice rips through me now...imagine her at twenty-five.