Kitchen Aid Ultra Power KSM90 Stand Mixer Egg on my face?

I received the KitchenAid KSM90 Stand Mixer for a birthday
gift. I admit it. I was too lazy to read the manual and
set it up. After all, I had a hand mixer. Granted, the
electrical connection was "funky" and occasionally, a new
curly hairstyle was served up with dinner. But on my
birthday, the last thing I wanted to do was unpack a big
appliance, set it up on my clutter free counter and snuggle
up with a technical manual. So I ignored the box for a
couple of weeks.

Since having the box sit in the doorway to the laundry room
was getting in the way of us having clean clothes, I
finally unpacked the box. This mixer is heavy! I found
space for it on the counter, put the bowl and attachments
with it and set off to find something else to do besides
read the manual.

Before I knew it, the holiday season was here. Time to
get baking! I had holly cookies, peanut butter balls with
chocolate drops, shortbread, decorated sugar cookies, kick
b_tt chocolate pie and possibly chocolate chip cookies to
prepare. Not to mention my annual ritual of asking my Mom
for the recipe to her fruitcake, which I love. I pretend
that I will make it if I get the recipe and she in turn
gives me the finished fruitcake instead. However, she may
call my bluff one year and send the recipe. I must be
ready with my baking skills when she sees the light!

I looked briefly at the professional looking stand mixer
sitting impressively on my counter. "Use me", it dared.
A mere amateur cook like myself couldn't possibly do it
justice. I got out my "old sparky" hand mixer and got the
kids together to make our specialty, "The Pie". My oldest
son particularly likes to help with the meringue where we
take egg whites and turn them into perfect mounds of white
pie topping. He had the whites in the copper bowl and was
ready to whip. I had my face close to the bowl to make sure
everything went according to plan when - ZZRRRR! My son
put the mixer on full power and I was one egg white
dripping mama!

After cleaning the ceiling, I took another look at the stand
mixer. Surely, such a stately piece of equipment wouldn't
dare to throw a pie in my face. Time to learn how to use it.
I set the bowl and attachments aside and plugged it in.
Rationalizing that the cleanup had taken so long, I no longer
had time to read the manual. I tried to attach the wire whip.
Amazingly, it snapped right into the spring loaded pin shaft.
Egg whites in bowl, bowl under wire whip, power on, Voila!
Meringue superb! I was sold!

This mixer comes with 3 mixing attachments. The wire whip
is for mixing that needs air incorporated such as egg white
meringues and sponge cakes. The dough hook is for making
yeast doughs. The flat beater is for everything else
including cakes and mashed potatoes. The instructions, which
I finally read, say that this mixer works faster than many
others so recipes will need adjustments when they specify
times for mixing to avoid overbeating.

Okay, I already admitted I love this machine. But there
are a couple things that take getting used to. You can't put
the wire whip in the dishwasher. Since I'm worried about
salmonella and other bacteria, I have to remember to wash it
in really hot soapy water. Also, you can't scrape the sides
of the mixer bowl while the mixer is in use. There isn't
room for a spatula. The instructions say most mixes don't
need scraping but if they do, stop the mixer, lift the motor
head, and then scrape. It's true that as a software engineer,
I am allergic to reading instruction manuals. But I went
through this one cover to cover looking for what to do with
the plastic shield which was included. I can only assume
that fitting it to the bowl reduces the possibility of
liquids flying out of the bowl (and ceiling cleaning time)
but I think an explanation in the manual is called for.

I should say something about the power. This machine is
300 watts. There are more powerful machines sold but I'm
not sure why you'd need one. I mixed bread dough with this
mixer. It was quiet and stayed in place on the counter as
the dough mix was pummeled in the bowl. Plenty of power for
anything I'll do with it. I didn't buy any of the attachments
such as a grinder or strainer so I can't say how they operate.
I assume the powerful motor is useful in grinding.

What took me so long to plug this wonder machine in? It
couldn't have been an act of passive aggressiveness. Just
because my spouse stopped at the appliance counter on his
(presumed) way to the jewelry department, I couldn't have
been pouting. No, I'm much more mature than that. At any
rate, I was using this mixer now. No need to analyze. If
my relatives don't put on an additional 5 pounds this holiday,
it won't be this mixer's fault!