Alanis Morissette, will you marry me? (Reflections of Hope Write-Off)

Dearest Alanis,

I want you to be my wife. You have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that indeed, you are the one for me. Everytime I hear you singing about how fascinated you are by the spiritual man, how humbled you are by his humble nature, I can't help but think that you and me over coffee would just be the closest thing to Heaven this guy had ever experienced.

You truly got your hooks in me from day one with your non-stop one-liners from Jagged Little Pill. Who needs the F-word to make "You Oughta Know" a powerful song when you have a line like this?

And everytime you speak her name,
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died,
Till you died,
But you're still alive

Sure, millions of people have used the expression "till I die" when referring to how long they plan to love their partner. But you took that expression and totally turned it around on this guy. Now you have it set up so that the fact that he's still alive is a problem for you. I know I'd be scared! Heck, I'd never step foot in a movie theater again, since that's probably where you'd be looking, flashlight and all.

You put a whole new twist on the "angry white female" label when you put out that song. I don't think anger itself would exist as an emotion if we were meant to keep it bottled up. That would be like showing a child a puppy and taking it away two minutes later. You took the fact that you had a choice and you milked it dry. You didn't give a flying bird turd how people responded. But goodness knows somebody must have been on the same wavelength! Nothing beats the way you point your finger down in the video as you sing the line "You KNOW it!"

Or how about the satirical piece that is "Perfect", the song I once loved to hate, but now hate to love. It seems the longer I know you, the more I learn about you. It took me about a month to realize this song was about your parents and not your own kids, and all of another four years before it really hit me...

I'll live for you, I'll make you what I never was
'Cause you're the best
Well maybe so am I compared to him, compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good,
You'll make up for what I've blown
What's the problem...
Why are you crying?

God, I feel the heart you put into this one! The subdued desperation of the softly played chords in the background totally set me up, got me thinking the whole song was just going to be a quiet plea from the corner of the room. Then that bridge breaks out and by the end, the kid is crying. Words can't describe it, but then we already knew that though, didn't we.

That doesn't mean that you can't fly circles around anyone with your Gemini prowess, my dear. "All I Really Want" is the perfect introduction to your album, and it's the mother lode of one-liners in my opinion. First you tease us with a harmonica chord that is abruptly followed by a guitar chord. At that moment, I immediately get the feeling like I'm sitting on a rollercoaster, and the seats have just lurched into motion. The drums kick in and guitar riffs begin to escalate, but it isn't until that magical voice of yours tingles in my ears that I really begin to close my eyes and savor what's coming...

What I wouldn't give to meet a soul mate
Someone else to catch this drift

I feel that drift everyday of my life, my love. It comes in through my windows as I sleep, it lingers around me every second that I'm awake.

I mean, I could sit here and do this with every single song on your album, but I won't. I just have to say, it's not very often that a female vocalist catches my attention. In fact, I think females are for the most part, underrated by a cynical world. When you think of a song being played at a wedding, chances are you think of a song by a guy, right? That's just what I'm talking about.

All the one-liner business aside, you have given us a beautiful album here. The guitar playing is never used as the backbone for the beat or for 100% of a song's power. It exists solely as musical support, leaving your voice to deliver the majority of the power behind the songs. Listening to the music in headphones is even better; I got guitars to the left of me, harmonicas to the right and here I am, stuck in the middle with you (I wish!)

Another thing I really like about this album is how the great songs are spread all throughout, rather than stuffed at the beginning. "Not the Doctor" and "Wake Up" are two of the best songs on the CD, and they are the last two! Both songs are sported by a quick beat, and some brilliant manipulations of the musical language. The ascending chorus of "Not The Doctor" gives the song a sort of dominating nature behind the frustration and sarcasm of the lyrics, which, to this day I have yet to fully understand! Meanwhile, "Wake Up" is a faster but darker affair with a downright creepy progression of notes on the intro. Both songs read out like one-liner lists, but both as brilliant as the songs at the beginning, giving the listener a reason to keep listening straight through.

The only thing that really has spoiled this album for me is not something that you could have changed, baby. The radio played out some of these songs and continues to play them to this day. "You Learn" is a great song, until you've heard it a few hundred times, a point at which you find yourself desensitized to its message. I usually find myself skipping most of the singles except for "You Oughta Know", which never made it to most formats, and "Ironic" which is another great use of that whole F and D minor thing, but I won't attempt to describe that, because I figure if they're going to figure that out, they would have by now.

I must say, Alanis, the video for "Ironic" was what really did it. I know you took a lot of flak because of your examples not really being ironic, but more or less Murphy's Law. But it didn't stop that video and song from getting power rotation on VH-1, MTV (back in the day), and every radio station from here to Saturn. What really amazes me about that video is how much you act like me, though. While you're singing the line It's the good adviiiiice in the last chorus, you spin your left hand in a circle, and when it stops, your left index finger is pointing to your left shoulder. Do you have any idea how funny that looks, and even more scary, how much it reminds me of myself?

This is an obsession that doesn't merit any more of Epinions' bandwidth than what has already been used on it. But this is as serious a proposal as you would like it to be, my dearest Alanis. So if you really want some comfort, a way to get your hands untied, allow me. My e-mail is on my profile.

Thanks to kristinafh whose idea of writing a music review as a letter to the artist is nothing short of genius. (((Hugs))) to you :)

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This review was written for inclusion in the Reflections of Hope Write-Off, hosted by GinaHill and Angelabar. Please take time to visit the other participants reviews which can be found here: http://www.pronetisp.net/~anjuliz/hope.html, a special webpage designed by Angelabar for this write-off. You might want to keep this page in your favorites as there are other Write-Off pages created by Angelabar - for past, present and future Write-Offs.

The participants include:
29th_Candidate, AdaDavis, Angelabar, danni_d, darkmistress, debbie26, Dr_Steph, Ed_Grover, ezreka, fallyn96, fjbpab, fragglemom, ginahill, hawgwyld, jankp, jkkelley, jo.com, khahn86351, kittyokc, mellkinwa, missy32, murasaki, nwinston, phineaskc, roark_8, Sordid-1, Sloucho, SurgRN911, Sumo_Rhino, Westerbear