The companion you didn't know you had

Industrial Paper Shredders ISP20RC. When I look at this name I take industrial and that looks like a really big incomprehensible word, and I think the makers of this product put "Industrial" in there products name to confuse and irritate the common man. I also see the word paper and Shredder. I think of all the poor innocent trees that were used to make all the paper, that people.. People in industries just so causally shred in there free time.
Oh yes the corruption of the big industries has always used and abused paper shredders. As a secretary of a very professional industry I always see my boss shredding papers whenever he is in a bad mood and stressed out. A coincidence... I don't think so. I have watched him, very carefully, shredding papers and can tell he seems very thrilled with himself.. Taking great pleasure in jamming huge amounts of print clad white paper into the blade welding beast to be slashed up into finely cut strands of useless scrap. Then he seems to enjoy jamming the fluttered scrap paper into gargantuan pitch-black plastic bags. The sheer image of that huge beastly creature spitting out mutilated paper after mutilated paper, and my equally beastly boss with his wicked grin jamming the scraps into those endless black bags continually haunt my dreams to this day. Seriously, sleep is not an easy thing to come by knowing that this horrible monstrosity is out there.. and not even that far away.
It is one thing that my boss needs to find some sort of ghastly ritual to continue on with his plagued lonely life. I didn't mind when he used a company check to buy himself a new Bar, nor did I mind when he stole my wallet to pay for prostitutes to amuse him and his drunk friends. But when he has the nerve to pull a huge paper eating monster into the office like that.. with no respect to the environment I might add, it just makes me shudder.
You know I've been tormented all my life about the lies I was told as a kid about my options when I became an adult. When I was a kid I wanted to be a bird or an ice cube... and of course my parents and teachers always said.. why of course you can be an ice cube you can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it. And look at me now. I'm the secretary of a horrible demonic beast who takes pleasure in the destruction of things.
At first I wanted to blame the coursed people who made this huge paper-shredding machine, but then you couldn't blame the people who built the A-bomb for killing all those Japanese. You had to blame Truman who abused its power. So I realized that the same concept had to be used here.
The paper machine actually works well. However for the price of it I would "damn" well expect it to.
Lets put the machines worth in how well it handles the following scenarios.
Scenario 1:
The boss is in big trouble with the IRS. He demands that you completely destroy all the companies financial records dated Oct. 5 1998- Dec. 12 1998. Or he will take you down with him to the bitter end.
This is a perfect scenario for the Industrial Paper Shredders ISP20RC. Without fail the paper shredder keeps its end of the deal and flawlessly shreds document after unwanted document, and I end up keeping my life.
Scenario 2:
The boss gets really angry with a potential business partner and ends up strangling him. He orders you to get rid of the client's body very fast without going outside. Unfortunately this is not the ideal situation in which you would want to use the Industrial Paper Shredders ISP20RC. I know it says industrial, and you think industrial strength, but it does not act as a good compactor, the blades do not seem to get a good grip on the flesh, and so It's better to use the hack saws and those things you crack rib cages open with.
Overall the Industrial Paper Shredders ISP20RC is a reliable source of paper shredding for the office needs. As long as it doesn't get in the wrong hands it can be an important part of office needs.