Christmas Movie Write-Off - Home Alone: "Ahhhhhhhhh!"

Hey all! This review is part of the Christmas Movie Write-Off, where a bunch of us are writing about our favorite Christmas movies (just watch all the Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life reviews pour in). So anyway, the list of other writers is at the bottom, and on with my review...

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

That's probably the most famous scene from Home Alone. Where after trying aftershave, young Kevin (Macauley Culkin) claps his hands to his face and screams at the top of his lungs.

Home Alone is explained very well by the title, but I'll give a refresher for everyone that hasn't seen it. Kevin (Macauley Culkin) and the rest of his very large family are planning a Christmas trip to Paris. After a series of mishaps, Kevin is left at home while his family is on their way to Paris. After trying to get the police to check on him (why they don't just call him, I don't know), Kevin's parents have to fly back to Chicago. Now Kevin gets to do all the things he wants to because he's alone, and then something very bad happens. Two burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) want to burglarize his house ("it's the mother lode"). So, "this is my house, I have to defend it."

Now granted, this movie is very far from a classic like A Christmas Story. But it's a lot of fun, and I've watched it almost every year since it came out (although it could be because I thought it was cool that I was the same age as Kevin). But again it is fun, I mean Kevin gets to do all the things kids want to do when they're home alone like that, and he even looks like he's having fun (although how hard is it for an 8 year old to act like an 8 year old?). He eats ice cream three meals a day, he stays up all night, he shoots a BB gun at a bunch of action figures, gets to watch dirty movies (get your mind out of the gutter, not that kind of dirty), and of course jump on the bed. But it's not all fun and games. Being alone, Kevin figures out he has to take responsibility for himself. He goes shopping, teaches himself how to do laundry, and even conquers the strange noises in the basement. It's hilarious, and teaches kids an important message too (and if you believe that, I've got some magic beans to sell you).

And now we're up to Home Alone's purpose for being. The part where Kevin has to defend his house from the burglars. But first (in my favorite part of the movie) he tries to scare them away by playing a gangster movie to make them think someone's getting whacked by the mob, which also shows off Daniel Stern's impressive slapstick skills. He boobytraps his house with things that would make Wile E. Coyote jealous. Broken ornaments, Micro Machines, and even paint cans work their way into these ingenious traps. It's an extremely wild twenty minutes that will have you laughing like crazy, kids and adults. I mean this scene can make you laugh and cringe at the same time. If you don't enjoy this part, then you probably shouldn't have watched this movie in the first place. But the burglary scene is made even funnier by the presence of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as the burglars. These guys are great, and they really make the movie just a little bit more than two guys getting the cr*p beat out of them, they're perfect for these roles. All the while, his mother is trying desperately to find her way home (with a little help from John Candy).

But you can look at this movie from another way too. If you think about it this movie could have been written by a very angry child psychologist. It includes almost every one of the movies-made-me-do-it excuses that all those nutjob psychologists have thought up. Think about it. "Neglected by his parents and abused by his brother, young Kevin is left all alone on Christmas. After gorging on junk food, violent movies, and guns, young Kevin's mind is damaged beyond repair. He then proceeds to steal from his family and brutally pummel the first two gentlemen who come to his home to offer their services. And then to top it all off, he his rewarded for his destructive behavior with a bounty of presents. The world should weep for Kevin McCallister."

But who cares what those quacks think? Home Alone will be watched by people for years to come. So, sit back, enjoy yourself, and be a kid again. And have a merry Christmas! And a happy new year!

The Write-Off List:
AinsleyJo, AmyLEnsor, BedrockTime, bgoodday, bmcnichol, bpotter1, caleo, cbgresh, ChrisJarmick, CjsMommy, dandj, dreamcatcher39, erin5oaks, francesca57, frazzledspice, Grouch, gwsmith, HawgWyld, ImAmes, janesbit1, jenninca, jenni1396, Josh_G, keithpruitt, kelly60, KingJFS, lucky43560, Macresarf1, Magick1, martytdx, Mike_Bracken, monical2me, mrssmoopy, onecoolcat, pacbaystat, phineaskc, Poseidon, Presleysmama, sawasdee, seracorde11, shadow8, splitsurround, SPodgorski, teskue, Viper1963