David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice

I love Christmas. I love it a lot. I discovered the unpleasant "truth" about Santa Claus at an inordinately advanced age, simply because I loved Christmas so much. I love the lights, the carols, the holiday specials...and yet, right around this time of year, it gets to be a bit too much, even for me. Maybe because it seems like Thanksgiving was earlier this year? I'm not sure. In any case, I'm feeling Christmassed out. And, since timing is everything with comedy, it was just the right time to discover David Sedaris' Holidays On Ice CD. A reading of his collection of essays by the same title, it features David, his sister Amy, and Ann Magnuson reading humorous, biting, and sometimes downright twisted essays about Christmas. Two of them I'd read before, but having Sedaris & company read them to me was a much funnier, and in some ways more disturbing, experience than reading them myself.

There are six essays (or stories) total on the 3 CD collection, which runs about three hours.

SantaLand Diaries This is the most famous of Sedaris' work, and it's actually become a seasonal one-man play that other actors perform. It's a hilarious and disconcerting story based on his time working at Macy's (THE Macy's) as a Christmas Elf. He shows children where to stand in line, helps the Santas, takes pictures, sings Christmas carols, and does other things much more demeaning to Elfdom. Hermione Granger would be outraged. This is the funniest of the essays, and it's well-timed and well-crafted. Having Sedaris read (and even sing one portion "in the manner of Billie Holiday") this is worth the price of the entire collection--it should become a perennial favorite. With adults.

Seasons Greetings to Our Friends and Family The Christmas Letter from a mother who feels put upon by her husband (and his Vietnamese love child who shows up on their doorstep), their daughter and her "Crack Baby." A truly twisted holiday tale, this is one that even I thought went too far. And I'm a monster. Only the tone of the schmaltzy holiday letter and the performance of the actress keeps it from being overwhelming, but somehow they pull it off. Funny, disturbing, and something you'll never, ever see on the Hallmark Channel. Or even Lifetime.

Dinah, the Christmas (slang word for prostitute that's banned by Epinions. It rhymes with "more.") This is the other one I had read before--it's featured in another of Sedaris' collections. Taken from an event in his teen years, the Sedaris family ends up hosting his sister Lisa's friend, Dinah. Who is...or was...a prostitute. Somehow, she brings the spirit of Christmas into their home, but it's a twisted, Sedaris-style Christmas, and it seems to work for them.

Front Row Center With Thaddeus Bristol This is probably the weakest of the pieces on the CD: a series of newspaper theater critic reviews. Of elementary school Christmas plays. They're funny enough, but only if you've had the misfortune of seeing an elementary school Christmas play. It reminded me too much of Martin Short's Jiminy Glick character, both in content and delivery. It was okay, but not nearly as strong as the other pieces. It was also much shorter, so it worked out well for me.

Based Upon a True Story a sermon preached in a backwater town by a TV producer desparate for the rights to a "Christmas miracle" made-for-TV movie. Plays on small-town life, the crass commercialism of television, and the cheesiness of Christmas TV specials. It's funny enough, but isn't as strong as "SantaLand Diaries" or "Christmas Means Giving."

Christmas Means Giving A new favorite for me, as a sete of wealthy neighbors competes with each other during the holidays. First their competition is to see who can be the most wasteful and excessive, and it ends with them competing to see who is the most charitable. A frightening and eventually bloody tale, it manages to be funny and find some kind of message at the same time. I loved it.

Sedaris' humor is definitely an acquired taste--a bitter, caustic, sarcastic taste that some people find offensive. The content of the CDs is adult enough that I wouldn't listen to it with children, but I thought the stories were funny, imaginative, and managed to capture some kind of spirit of the season. Just...you know. The miserable end of the season. If you're a fan of David Sedaris, but you've never heard him in action, you should check out "Holidays on Ice" on CD.