Double the gore, double the fun!

To try and review Friday the 13th Part 2 as if it were an average Hollywood movie would be an exercise in futility. The Friday the 13th movies were never produced to be considered fine art, and I doubt that fans of Merchant/Ivory-type films would ever deign to even watch one. But that's cool; these movies are made for gorehounds - people who are smart enough to know they're watching junk, but are simply having too much fun to care. If I ventured to employ a culinary analogy, Saving Private Ryan is a steak, Back to the Future is a big helping of delicious mashed potatoes, and a movie like Friday the 13th Part 2 is the worst kind of candy imaginable. Like Pixy Stix.

OK, I've done enough pseudo-apologizing. I've enjoyed this series since I was a young'en, and I don't see my interest in them waning any time soon. If you enjoy slasher movies, you understand my plight. This entry introduces Jason as the mysterious antagonist, and he hasn't even gotten his hockey mask yet! He wears some loopy potato sack or something!

Friday the 13th Part 2 offers us a brutally abrupt prologue, in which our plucky survivor from Part 1 is violently dispatched, with nary an afterthought. After the bombastic opening credits, we begin the long, thankless journey that is known as slasher movie character development:

"OK, we got an obnoxious imbecile who curses a lot and plays a lot of pranks?"

"Present! Hyuk Hyuk!"

"How about the virginal, mousy and all-around BLAND young lady?"

...here...

"OK, I need one horny couple who think of nothing but humping like St. Bernards..."

"...pant...pant...We're here!..."

"Slutty harlot tramp girl?"

"I'm here...cutie."

"And finally, the completely worthless and personality-free camp administrator?"

"Yo."


So after about 34 minutes of watching these idiots interact, it eventually gets dark and the blood flows freely. Why movies like this even BOTHER to flesh out the characters is beyond me. It's like eating a cheeseburger after hearing the cow's name. It's just unnecessary.

As night falls, a handful of lucky counselors decide to head out to town for some beers. Unfortunately for the audience, the most obnoxious guy in the movie stays at the bar, and never returns for his welcome demise. The handful of fools who do choose to stay get sliced up but good. That's pretty much it, plot-wise. But if you're watching Friday the 13th Part 2 and expecting Alfred Hitchcock, then you need to rent a clue.

The fun of these movies is quite simply the gore, the creative carnage, the rampant cinematic brutality. Call me sick, but I'd rather watch every F13 movie in a row than watch Patch Adams just one more time. To the average movie fan, I'd probably recommend you rent something else. To my fellow horror freaks, you know what I'm talking about.

Hardcore Horror Stats:

Male Body Count: 6
Female Body Count: 4
Total: 10
Total for series so far: 20

Gore Quotient:

Fat Cop on the Receiving End of a Claw Hammer: B+
Idiot Stuck in a Bear Trap Gets His Throat Slit: B-
Horny Couple gets Shish-Ka-Bobbed while Doin' the Nastiness: A-
Unfortunate Handicapped Guy gets a Machete in the Face: A
Random Carnage: B-

Overall Gore Quotient: B+