Super Sport for a $4/gal World

It's nearly as big as a Buick LeSabre but has the sleek look of a NASCAR racer. Seats four in absolute comfort and turns heads while doing it. Retains a styling heritage of decades past while evoking a totally unique, totally modern sense of style.

You could call the 2000 Monte Carlo SS an enigma. Or a contradiction in terms. Sure, it's a luxury-sport coupe. But despite an array of buttons, switches, and leather-wrapped surfaces, there's enough flimsy plastic inside and out to totally negate any sense of luxury. And despite the race-inspired spoiler and wind-tunnel slippery shape, the car handles like any other heavy front-drive sedan from GM.

That's not to say that the 2000 Monte Carlo SS is a bad car. Introduced as a restyled variant of the the front-drive Impala, the Monte Carlo is an excellent representation of what it was meant to be--a two-door alternative to mid-size sedans for those who like the comfort and convenience of a large car without the stuffy implications back doors bring.

The car rides on GM's revised W-body chassis, featuring four-wheel independent suspension and a stiffened chassis for taught cornering and a solid feel over rough roads. While the car in Super Sport trim does cut through corners with more vigor and a more solid grip than a LeSabre, the Monte Carlo SS is simply too big and too heavy to call a true sport coupe. Chevrolet did give the car a quick steering response to make the Monte Carlo SS feel more nimble than a thirty-four hundred pound car should.

Unlike other W-body GM cars of the time, the Monte Carlo features upgraded interior features. The gauge cluster has a modern look, with ringed gauges to give each one the look of an individual instrument. The gauge needles are bright and easy to read, and the information displays in the gauge cluster are easy to read and much more useful than the idiot lights of old. Another improvement are the window switches, which feature texturing and feel solid and sophisticated compared to the swelled plastic switches of previous years. After eight years, the window switches--like the rest of the interior--look new, reflecting a durability that was sorely missing from the switches used in GM cars throughout much of the '90s and even into the twenty-first century.

The CD / cassette head unit is another major improvement over previous years, although one feature is noticeably absent. There is no speed-adjusted volume control. Instead, this unit comes with advanced features, such as the Radio Data System which displays information about participating stations and even allows you to scan stations by type--a great feature when traveling through a new city. The sound quality is much improved over previous years as well. A built-in amp provides deep but not thunderous bass for the rear-mounted speakers. One quirk GM didn't fix is the rattling of interior panels from massive front-mounted door speakers. And with all the high-tech features of the head unit, it would have been nice if GM had included a six-band EQ instead of mundane trebble/bass adjustments.

The head unit is important because it controls the car's security and convenience features. This is nice in that it allows easy customization of features such as sentinel headlights and the horn chirp that accompanies locking and unlocking via the key chain fob. It's bad in that it takes away the option to upgrade, and if the head unit fails, these features likely will be stuck or possibly even unavailable. Not good.

One nice feature of the car's security and convenience controls is that it allows you to chose whether to unlock both doors or only the driver's door when the car is put in Park or when the key chain remote is used. As someone who rarely has passengers, I find this feature convenient, although on the rare occasion I have passengers, the passengers find it annoying. Particularly when they yank on the door handle only to find the door is still locked. If I had a wife or daughter who drove this car a lot, I would feel very good knowing that extra level of safety was there for them.

The Monte Carlo SS is rated at five-star front impact, the highest score acheivable. This rating helped inform my decision to purchase, as I was forced into a quick buy after a violent accident destroied my other car. The Monte Carlo SS has both driver and passenger front air bags, but no side curtain air bags. The passenger air bag dominates the right side of the dashboard, which leaves little room for the glove box. The glove box itself seems like an afterthought. It swings out from the bottom of the dash and has a deep plastic pocket, but it is far too easy to hastily throw papers inside and miss the pocket altogether, leaving your belongings somewhere inside the dash instead of the glove box.

Overhead, there is an information panel with compass and outside temperature, and a range of driving data. Average fuel mileage, instantaneous fuel mileage, used fuel, average speed, and remaining fuel range are all available at the touch of a button. Also included is a Homelink station which will replace your garage door opener, if you have one of the older ones that doesn't swap codes with every press of the button.

When equipped with a sunroof, the sliding cover has a series of vents along the leading edge. This is good for ventilating your car on a hot day. Slide the cover forward, tap the switch, and the sunroof raises about an inch in back to allow hot air to escape. However, if you've got a bright light overhead, these vents can create glare across the dash.

The climate controls are the type of oversized rotating knobs that GM has used since the mid-90s, and the dual zone controls are a matched pair of sliders. The sliders feel flimsy in the car, and they look like the throwback they are. Directly beneath the climate controls, one finds storage tray wit either an cup holder in front of it, or an ashtray that conveniently slips into the cup holder. There is also a cigarette lighter, positioned just forward of the gearshift.

The shifter itself is very ergonomic, with a T-handle grip and thumb-activated shift button that feels right, much better than the knob and top-button configuration found on many Pontiacs and Buicks of the era. Next to the shifter is the traction control off switch, only availible on the SS. Beside the shift gate is a small tray built into the console, it makes a nice place to stash an mp3 player or sunglasses. The console arm rest opens to reveal more storage and a change slot. However, once again, the flimsy feel of the armrest is a throwback to older GM design. It doesn't feel at all solid when opening or closing.

Rear passengers have a power port built into the back of the console, which makes powering an iPod or laptop computer somewhat plausible, though one wishes there was a second power port up front in the passenger foot well, as was in the Pontiac Grand Prix of the era.

The rear seats also feature a flip-down arm rest with cupholders, a nice touch to be sure. And the back seats fold down to allow extra cargo space, a feature I haven't used yet but plan to soon as I move across state.

One last note about the interior--it seems that GM mismatched the headliner in my car. While every other surface in the car is charcoal, the headliner and sunroof controls are light gray, and even look brown in certain light. There's also a grab handle over the passenger door, though the aforementioned sluggish handling really makes this feature more optimistic than practical.

Outside, the body panels have sloppy gap and poor fit. Slam the doors and the door pannels seem to vibrate. Slam the trunk and the whole bumper shutters. However, the car has a solid feel nevertheless. The wide tires mounted on standard 16-inch wheels help give the car plenty of grip on any road surface. Sway bars and four coil-springs allow the driver to take advantage of that wide rubber. Underneath, the engine is cradled in a web of steel that increases safety and gives the car a stiffer chassis than contemporary sedans.

What an engine it is, too. GM's legendary 3800 series II, as smooth as any power-plant the General ever produced. At two-hundred horsepower, it seems a little bit anemic in an age when auto makers brag about stuffing nearly three hundred horsepower into family sedans. But even without supercharging, the 3800 delivers a smooth rush of torque and provides a satisfying growl as the tachometer needle twists its way up through the digits toward red-line. Highway passing is nearly effortless, rarely requiring enough pressure on the throttle to necessitate a downshift, and the Monte Carlo's solid build combined with its slippery shape can lead to unreliable estimations about speed. Fail to watch the gauges, and you could easily find yourself breaking the law by ten or twenty miles per hour and not even realize you were going that fast.

Braking is very effective for a car this size. Four wheel disk brakes and ABS provide solid stopping power. My only complaint thus far has been the tendency of the brake rotors to rust. The entire car will shake until this rust is broken off through repeated stops.

The seats are stiff, wrapped in a nice grade of leather. The leather isn't soft, but it doesn't feel like vinyl either. Both driver and passenger seats feature six-way power controls and lumbar support, and both seats are heated. The heat switches are located on the console arm rest in close proximity to the main cup holder, an unfortunate location as large cups tend to bump the switches. I've accidentally warmed by behind several times after knocking the switch on.

My only complaint about the seats is the hight at which they sit. I'm six-two, and if I try to sit upright, my head is pressed against the room. With the adjustment switches, it's easy to tilt and move the seat, but it would be nice to have that extra half-inch of clearance.

The steering wheel is a thick three-spoke wheel with leather upper and lower sections, and a more conventional plastic/vinyl chunk on the sides. These chunks were ragged in my car, scratched by fingernails or rings to the point that you can feel the foam. Also, the spokes are very thick and limit hand placement on the wheel to an extent. In my old car, I often placed my hand between the bottom two spokes on long drives; the center spoke in the Monte Carlo prevents this altogether. The steering wheel controls for the audio system are well built and easy to use, though the cruise control on/off switch light is a little difficult to see in the daytime and I often find myself slowing down on the interstate because I'd mistakenly assumed the cruise was on. This is one instance--maybe the only instance--where I wish GM had stuck with its mid '90s control layout.

I've only had this car for three months, but already I've put a three thousand miles on it. The car had a hundred and twenty-six thousand miles on it when I bought it, and it looked like new inside and out. I couldn't find any flaws with the car except for the steering wheel and few dings in the paint. With the windows down and the sunroof open, the car feels carefree and sporty. The cheap plastic around the seat belt mounts tend to flutter and flap and make all kinds of racket, which dampens the fun a little. But only a little. With the windows up and the AC on, the car gets nearly 30mpg on the highway. And even in town, I've logged mid-20s. That's been the biggest surprise for me about this car, as I expected the big V-6 to be much thirstier, based on my experience with a Buick LeSabre.

I love my Monte Carlo. I just hope I still love it as much two years from now.