Fashion weak

J.LO faces herself. Brave!

So what?

J.LO is an elegant person. She has the ability to make disparage things seem coherent. Pop Music lives on and on.

Take it by Hold It Don't Drop It. It's just that adequate: hold the melody, don't drop the chorus...Until the last turn of the hips. Get the balance right! A great opening scene - J.LO percolating through nanorobots of funk. Last night a DJ saved her life!

To the wide screen, Youtube if you mean - our J.LO is ready to take the world by storm...Or at least, Vogue. Shake your hips!

J.LO is frantic but it seems seamless. She sings with a strained voice. It ranges from a false start to a roaring breakup and the outpouring of self-confidence. Fashion all the way down to the nearby mall.

Brave - what seems a tearjerking ballad - is about her morning mirror pondering. Don't be afraid, this is the day...You'll have your megahair done. What about the rhymes? OK. Don't you think everything makes sense...When you are a brave?

In fashion you must Do It Well anyway you want it to be. She's only minding her own business! What the hell am I trying to say? Her pose is akin to perfect...Skin deep.

The Way It Is - what is it? You want it all but you can't have it...Wise words from FAITH NO MORE. I still prefer The Way I Are! This pile of babble is just the way J.LO is - mellow but you swallow with some effort.

Be Mine - samba or funk, anyway, J.LO wants you for her US army of hits. When she looks in your heart you got everything she wants - that is, a credit card (thanks WHAM!). You talk about what hurts, what matters the most - the root of all evil, that is.

What a celebrity is about to perform you just Gotta Be There! What a wonderful world. Fine voice. Manufactured smiles but E...News only!

Desperate Housewives walk a Mile in These Shoes - even though those PRADA boots are not made exactly for walkin'. So what they walk for? When they are walking their dogs...Someone is about to die, you bet. Like a hound dog. Like ROBERT JOHNSON. I always suspected the devil wore PRADA!

I Need Love and I got it but J.LO is still on her way down the road to...Nigeria? Is it a SADE dead-ringer? Anyway. A SADE B-side with a BABYFACEd singer is decent enough for this time of wars of words between talebans and neocons. In the end...The love we make is all the love you can take.

Stay Together - a passable SUEDE song and a impossibly silly Dance-Pop number from J.LO. Cliche breakin' up so easy...Im about to throw a curve ball (in your head honey that is!). Where are you PAULA ABDUL?

Wrong When You're Gone - makeup? She guess she should have kept her mouth shut but the should have let it out - old makeup that is! She hates but she admits being retro.

You can stop the clock there won't be time enough - Cinderella! To vaguely Eastern beats that reverberate Forever J.LO invites our listeners to a rapturous never-ending night of romance...Hey! Genie In a Bottle is not from J.LO! What about those anemic synths and the regurgitating rapper?

Stubborn J.LO is Never Gonna Give Up...Her hairstylist. Forgiving him is the first thing she had to do before moving on to...The Academy Awards. Or Grammy? Nevermind. Another generic. TONI BRAXTON's with those screaming violins. Breaking up is hard to do but you had to! I have to admit. You J.LO is the only one humble enough to dedicate so many spaceshare of your CDs/MP3s/Blue Rays to unashamed dead-ringing. Fashion is recycling. It's a mess. F*****g mediocrity. With style! Hold It Don't Drop It (the bra). See ya.

* * * Stay Together
* * Forever
* * * * 1/2 Hold It Don't Drop It
* * * Do It Well
* * * 1/2 Gotta Be There
* * * 1/2 Never Gonna Give Up
* * * 1/2 Mile In These Shoes
* * 1/2 The Way It Is
* * * 1/2 Be Mine
* * * * I Need Love
* * * 1/2 Wrong When You're Gone
* * * 1/2 Brave