Yes, You Too Can Be a Cliff Clavin...

“Uncle John” has WAY too much time on his hands.

Lucky for us.

Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader is a combination of the 5th, 6th, and 7th volumes of the Bathroom Reader series, and is jam-packed with useless (and not-so-useless) trivia. I ran across this gem at a book fair and thought it would be a great Christmas gift for my husband. Since we had officially moved the periodical and Star Trek novel sections of our library into the bathroom, somehow this seemed fitting.

No subject matter is neither safe nor sacred. Readers learn facts ranging from quote origins to the Singing Nun (remember her from The Ed Sullivan Show?), and anything in between. Gee, who wouldn’t want to know that Elvis used to sit by his pool eating watermelon and shooting flash bulbs floating in the water just to see them flash and sink? We all figured he was a little strange. . . now we know.

Remember Larry Villella? Of course not. He the 14 year old kid who saved up a thousand bucks from watering trees, then sent it to President Clinton to help in reducing the deficit. Ahh. . . now you remember. But did you also know that Bill Cosby sent the kid $2000 and a flag-waving “Thanks” from the American people? You’d know this stuff if you had the Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader.

For those who love to read, but can only find the time to do it intermittently, this is the book for you. One can put it down halfway through, come back to it weeks later, and not have to remember what happened earlier.

There really isn’t any rhyme or reason to the layout of the subject matter, other than the three volumes contained within are separated. The author waxes and wanes from subject to subject. Example: Harry Truman quotes on one page, Disneyland Secrets on the next. This erratic grouping is a positive however, keeping the reader interested and giving an air of suspense as to what’s next. Truly the book of choice for regular attendees of the Short Attention Span Theater. No monotony to break here.

For those who demand order, the index-like table of contents is your salvation. The Bathroom Reader’s Institute has thought of just about everything to appease the inner neat-freak. They have divided the contents by length as well as subject:

"Short – a quick read
Medium – 1-3 pages
Long – For those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required."

The remainder of the contents are grouped into categories, followed by the mini-subjects, and further divided by the length table above. To get a good idea of what you’ll find, let’s list the categories and give a brief example of the subject matter in each:

Pop Science - One Nuclear Bomb Can Ruin Your Whole Day
Quizzes - Test your Beverly Hillbillies’ IQ
Myth America - The Truth About Christopher Columbus
End of the World - A Handy Guide, in parts
The Personal Columns - The Elvis Sideshow, King of Farts
Food for Thought - 10 Candy Bars You’ll Never Eat
The Legal System - Loony Laws and Strange Lawsuits
Wordplay - Tang Twusters, Limericks
Words & Phrases - Word Origins
The Name Game - Patron Saints, Myth-Pronunciation
It’s a Conspiracy - Who killed Marilyn & Malcolm X?
Business News - Fabulous Flops
Primetime Proverbs - What, I need to explain?
Pop History - Who were Harley & Davidson?
Pop-Pourri - Knitting with Dog Hair, Weird Medical Conditions
Childhood Wisdom - Greetings from Oz
Mouthing Off - Quotes and more quotes
Ask the Experts - Q&A
Historical Tidbits - Pirate Lore, Truths about Pearl Harbor
Suspicious Deaths - Jim Morrison
Amusements - Disneyland Secrets
Dirty Tricks - Carny tricks
Behind the Hits - One-Hit Wonders, Singing Chipmonks
TV or Not TV? - Flying Nun Quiz, Theme Song Trivia
Film - Golden Turkeys
Politics - Senate Fights
Foreign Language - Bow-wow or Wang-wang?
Animal Lore - Truths About Lemmings
On Location - Vegas, Hollywood
Tips for Teens
They Went That-a-Way - epitaphs
Answers - Answers to the Quizzes

Whew. . . Enough brain candy to give ol’ Cliffy Clavin a stroke.

Topping it off are one-line trivia bits located at the bottom of almost every page.

The bottom line is this: The Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader is a great book, for a gift or for yourself. Yup. . . darn good “Uncle John” has nothing better to do.

Excuse me, gotta go. . . nature calling (clutches book and runs)

© 2003-2004 Donna Standridge