Correct Me If I'm Wrong

Alfred and Enid Lambert have three grown children. These children have lives of their own, without a doubt, and sees each other as living the dream much better than the other. Ha!

Just when you think oldest, Gary, has it made with the glorious home, beautiful blonde wife and three handsome young sons, you see his world through his eyes. He battles his own judgments in regards to child-rearing – should child No.One be allowed to own expensive surveillance equipment and install it in a room in their home? And which room? If he installs it in the kitchen, how will he hide his two extra martini’s before his home-charred thrice-weekly dinner of mixed grill? Gary troubles himself with this question as he ponders the pile of computer equipment, audio and video things and other disposable techie-stuff haphazardly thrown in a corner of this son’s room. His decision, as in all his decisions regarding his family, is met with much eye-rolling, second-guessing and whining by his seemingly perfect wife. Gary has no backbone, but he does have great sex when he bows to his wife’s whiney ways so he chooses the sex over the backbone. So begins his little tale of life in the ‘burbs, expendable income and what to do about his mother’s one year-long obsession with having one more Christmas with her complete family in their home in St. Jude, much to the manipulative chagrin of his self-centered wife.

Chip, the middle son, has the gift of intelligence but with no common sense or will power in which to apply it. Sure, life’s cool enough teaching at a great University, until his libido conquers his desire to achieve tenure. Ah well, such is life for Chip, the mismanaged, earring-wearing, responsibility shirking son of a railroad worker. But, there is hope for Chip yet after he becomes embroiled in a highly dangerous, mostly comical, tale of two money-making criminals taking advantage of the fall of a sovereign state. Yes, that’s right. Lithuania sucks and Chip and his new buddy – the husband of his latest dalliance – scheme to technologically pick some pockets. One gratefully uttered “Chip” from the all-imposing yet broken Alfred cures Chip of most of his improprieties.

Then, Denise, the baby of the family, has mostly been living a lie and doing her best to hide it from her family and herself. She’s smart, pretty, talented and – well – sexual. Not a problem for her first affair, a much older man to her jail-bait age. Father-figure worshipping? Could be. Denise does exhibit a taste for the pre-geriatric, a picture her mother doesn’t understand since her mother’s version of bliss is a white wedding and young, blonde son-in-law. Denise does eventually fall, after a great climax, and falls in a very compelling and complex way. Gotta love her, or at least like her.

Enid, the mother of this brood, is mostly misunderstood. Financial smarts and a puppy-love affection for her husband is not appropriate for a woman of her generation. I mean, Enid digs her husband and loves to show it but the Polar Bear can’t comply nor alleviate her frustrations completely. So, Enid channels her energy in other ways such as taking care of a failing husband, a house and three grown children who want anything but to be with her anymore. She turns into a nag and a nuisance by her children’s standards. But this isn’t all Enid is about. No, Enid wants to grow old in comfortable wealth and knows how to go about it, a goal she’s had ever since Alfred bombed on a past opportunity. The problem is, she has to keep it hidden and can’t remember where she hid it in the wealth of pack-rat treasures she has accumulated over the years. As is often the case with mothers, her need to take care of others overtakes her need to take care of herself and she briefly experiments with a humorous cure.

And then came Alfred, before, during and after. Alfred was once a virile, handsome, well-built specimen of a provider kind-of-man. He devoted himself to his job much more than he devoted time to his wife. Many times Alfred is portrayed as strong, muscular with a broad chest, strong shoulders and flat belly -- strong yet failing. This is sad yet all too often happens in many families. How does Alfred cope? We see his dementia through his eyes and it is often sad, disgusting and occasionally funny. Alfred does know of his declining abilities yet can’t go through with the solution that has become obvious to his children. Sure, the chance came up once on Enid and Alfred’s vacation luxury cruise, but fear gave up in the face of fight.

Alfred has always loved his children but was inept in giving his love. He made one sacrifice once upon a time, which is revealed late in his illness, and that sacrifice came about because of his fierce love. Yet Alfred is often described as a Polar Bear which is the best description of this man: an aging Polar Bear now wishing to rest beside his cubs, clubbing them affectionately with his paws. Alfred’s “paws” are now shakey and plagued with tremors but he reaches out for his children with these betraying appendages.

“The Corrections” is about making it right, in my understanding. Is it made right? Yes, I believe most of it is corrected to the satisfaction of each vividly painted character. Each character, major and minor, has distinct personalities. Humor punctuates throughout as does such a gift of painting a picture or scene with his gift of word-applying. Jonathan Franzen rocks.

Now, give this book a chance. Franzen has a definitive style but one that takes a little time to get used to. Well, it took me a little time to get used to it but I am unique. I felt a little distracted with the opening of the book. Subsequently I put it away for a couple of weeks. With each beginning piece of the book I was able to digest, I soon began to crave more. It took at least 30 pages before I was hooked but that was only a teeny slice as the book is lengthy. Lengthy, but a good read nonetheless. After I began to devour it, I finished it quicker than I wanted. Such is life, ain't it?