B is for more than Beastmaster

Beastmaster was released in 1982; I was all of 8 and loved this movie to no end. By 1985 my dad had it on tape and during his parental visits Beastmaster was the movie my little brother and I would ask to watch over and over and over again.

So it was with great chagrin that I came across the movie on TV. My husband and I decided to watch it while discussing the our day.

Nostalgia was the only real reason why we watched it beginning to end. My husband had never actually seen it, while I waited to see if the Beastmaster would produce the same feelings at age 27 as it had at age 8.

Sadly it didn't.

What used to frighten me (the creatures that ate people through a bizarre method of absorption) only made me laugh. The acting, to which at 8 seemed as serious and grave as a Dentist or Doctor's appointment was as hokey as a clown at the circus.

The costumes, while certainly short and revealing loin clothes and leather, seemed far too cheap. I grimaced at the sudden "headband" that our beastmaster wore (reminded me of He-Man, also popular during that time).

But that doesn't mean with all I've said above it's a bad movie...

Beastmaster is a stunning tale of a child stolen from his queen mother's womb to a cow's, thrust into magic and mystery by a witch, only to be saved from slaughter at her hands by a passing peasant.

We watch him grow under the peasant's care to a man who is surrounded by an incredible power that allows him to communicate with animals.

To see and feel what they witness, and use them to his own will...though always seemingly for good.

It's good versus evil in a mellow-Conan type atmosphere where the hero is a heavily muscled loin clothed character without a lot of brain power, but plenty of friends (animal and human) to back him up to win whatever challenge is presented to them.

In this case it's to free a society from oppressive, sorcery rule.

Win the babe.

And become a ruler in his own right.

There are not a lot of special effects, this movie by today's standards would be considered incredibly lame. I don't see my own children in years to come being anything near as enthralled as I had been at their age, but that's to be expected in todays' shoot-em-up, bang-em-up, popping eye candy movies where the action never stops and the special effects alone could break a Hollywood budget.

There is a single nude scene, that I vaguely recall having been cut out by my watchful parents when I had it on tape. While watching it on TV they simple and efficiently blurred the scene or skipped it entirely.

However, Beastmaster can still entertain us 80's bred and raised adults who cannot get enough of those nostalgic years.

Watching Beastmaster I could recite nearly every word spoken, tell piece by piece exactly what would happen in every scene, and describe every nook and cranny of the landscape.

That is from a child who pressed rewind on a Beastmaster tape so many times that the word "rewind" finally disappeared from the button.

If you are an 80's kid you'll enjoy this flick, it'll bring back fond memories, and perhaps make you suddenly realize how much time flies.

Enjoy!