If the Devil Designed Laundry Machines...

UPDATE at the 28-month mark: the repairman will soon be out to put the first new $600 computer in. Yesterday I turned on the dryer and the machine filled up with horrible acrid smoke. I have added that to the service call. It appears the repairman was right when he warned me, "You no run when not home. It vill burning! On fire!"

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UPDATE at the 27-month mark: something has gone wrong with this machine's onboard computer. It has unilaterally decided that it will use exclusively hot water on clothes no matter what cycle is selected, and it sometimes starts drying the second you power it on with no instruction to do so.

The repairman has been out (still under warranty for the remaining 9 months) and advised it needs a new motherboard. Which is $600. So I'm very lucky this is still a warranty issue. The repairman also advised me to never leave this machine unattended, because this unit is known to catch fire (this is the repairman's information, not my own...just passing it on).

Original review is below!

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If the devil designed laundry machines…this is what you’d get. Meet Asko, your compact new friend, packed to the hilt with all kinds of labor-saving features and glittering with a fresh new sheen of convenience.

Or is it?

Let me preface this review as follows: this machine (hereafter referred to as Bruce, which I named mine in a fit of fury) isn’t all bad. He just has a wagonload of problems. I’ll try to look equally at the good and bad points, as buying this type of machine is usually a tradeoff anyway.

Bruce came to me with a newly-purchased condo conversion, where there is no structural way to install dryer venting inside my unit. Small square footage contributed to the lack of opportunity for a full-size laundry system, and compact units would be required regardless of whether or not they used a vented dryer. I do have a 220V plug available, but we’ll get into that later…

At first sight, I was impressed. Bruce is small and shiny, with a sturdy chassis and a solid scratch-proof worktop surface. The instruction manual details Bruce’s idiot-proof wash programs. The detergent tray accepts both soap and softener in advance of the wash, allegedly eliminating the need for mid-wash topping-up. In short, I fell in love with Bruce. He’s a cutie.

Drying
One week into our relationship, I had my first falling-out with Bruce. I gave him several new pairs of my pants, which he returned to me creased beyond belief. Ironing would not remove them. I discovered that this is due to the dry cycle, which is hotter than Hell and can leave fabrics (e.g. my pants) looking like a set of matching macramé owls. Over time (and much research) that this is due to the manner in which the dryer mechanism works. Since there is no vent, the air is heated to a very high temperature, causing water to evaporate out of the fabrics. Elsewhere inside the unit, a thin stream of cold water flows through the hot, steamy air. The moisture in the air condenses into the stream of water, and both are pumped out in roughly three-minute intervals.

Because of the high temperature involved, this machine is not intended to work the same way as a conventional Western dryer. This is a European appliance and requires a different approach: you don’t run it until the clothes are completely dry. While Bruce can do this, the high temperature inside the drum will essentially iron the wrinkles into your clothing. Instead, you remove the clothes when they are still the tiniest bit damp. Then you shake them. Since they are so hot, the remaining moisture evaporates out into the room air very quickly and the wrinkles are largely shaken out.

The first time I did this, I was surprised by just how well it works. This does, however, undo the ‘convenience’ of loading the machine up in the morning and returning to a clean and dry load. It also takes many attempts to figure out how long it takes to bring a certain amount of laundry to the just about dry point, etc. If you overestimate, Bruce goes on a creasing spree. If you underestimate, you end up with a mass of hot, soggy clothes…which you put back in and usually overestimate for, so Bruce creases them anyway. I still hang-dry any particularly delicate or valuable pieces of clothing, e.g. dress shirts, because such high temperatures are bad for them in any case. If it can shrink, Bruce will shrink it.

Washing
While Bruce does fit a rather large load, he doesn’t wash things as well as other units do. Many washers constantly recirculate the wash water through a filter, which Bruce does not. Water goes in, the clothes splash around and water goes out. That’s it. This means that waterborne lint is not removed and instead forms little balls, which enlarge like cotton candy in the dry cycle (which, incidentally, has no lint filter) and blow out all over the house when you take the clothes out and shake them. I usually have to vacuum after washing a load of towels, because the lint balls go everywhere. Bruce hides them around the house in manner of Easter candy – I have found them inside the microwave and on top of the bookshelf. I do only have 700 square feet of living area, so in a larger home one might be able to confine the lint balls to a laundry room. Though if you have a home large enough to accommodate normal machines and still buy Bruce, you are insane.

Bruce and I had another nasty disagreement over fabric softener. The aforementioned detergent drawer has a serious problem – the cups are shallow. This causes water from the soap cup to overflow into the softener cup, washing softener out with the soap and preventing it from hanging around until the rinse cycle. This means that softener doesn’t do any softening unless you put it into the cup after you notice that the wash cycle is over. Buh-bye, convenience. Now you can’t even leave Bruce alone for the wash cycle.

Bruce doesn’t like bleach. In fact, the manual prohibits it. I believe this has something to do with the materials used in the rubber door gasket, as bleach could cause it to stiffen up and start leaking, but I’m not completely certain of that yet. Bruce also doesn’t like too much soap, which the repairman says can destroy the drum bearings if it foams up too much – which is apparently not covered under the warranty.

About three months into our relationship, Bruce’s power switch failed. It’s one of those push-in, push-out buttons…and it wouldn’t stay in. The service backlog for Bruce was about two months (which doesn’t bode well for reliability), so I ended up forcing a pumpkin-shaped eraser into the button and securing it in place with adhesive tape, much like an eye patch. Bruce was suddenly far less cute. But at least he could crease my pants. The repairman eventually turned up and gave Bruce a new switch.

I have come to notice a few particular quirks about Bruce. He is paranoid about the spin cycle, for example. He will finish the rinse cycle and begin tumbling the clothes back and forth in an attempt to satisfy himself that they are balanced. If he thinks that they aren’t, he will keep doing this until they are. He once kept tumbling them for half an hour before he gave up and stopped completely. This usually only happens if I put in a bunch of light items and once denser item…like six shirts and one towel. Other times, Bruce starts spinning under the impression that he is balance when he in fact is not, and vibrates and bangs like a demon. On one memorable occasion involving a heavy cotton bathrobe, he started leaping around and put a mark on the door of the closet he lives in – I had to unplug him in a panic lest he damage the flooring or the doorjamb.

Summary
While Bruce is probably one of the worst options out there, at least he provides some kind of option for those who don’t have the space or venting capacity required of a conventional laundry pair. Keep in mind that he has an oscillating pump, which vibrates noisily. You can’t start him up and forget about him – the noise is abrasive and will be noticeable.

If you’re willing to compromise and become more directly involved in your laundering, Bruce will probably get along at least ‘acceptably’. If not…you’re in for an interesting, expensive ride.

Happy washing!

~.:The Domestic God:.~