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70

Um, hello... Earth to Dodo...

Pros Folds up easily, travels with you well, comes in handy, and keeps your kid safe and cozy--a bargain at twice the price
Cons Silly people keep thinking this is some sort of baby torture device
Recommended it? Yes
Ithaqua, you ignorant slut...

This is a portable crib, not a sensory deprivation tank for infants. Bet you a million dollars you buy one within weeks of having a kid (it's rather obvious that you have yet to reproduce--though I'm not sure I'd encourage you to, given your pathetic grasp of deductive reasoning).

The point of a crib, though I am shocked and amazed that this was not immediately apparent to you, is that it takes little kids a while to fall asleep, exhausted though they may be. During this twilight period between consciousness and rapid eye movement sleep, they tend to fall off things like beds, sofas, hammocks etc. This is most especially true after about the age of three months, when they learn to roll over.

One provides them with a safe, cushioned environment in which to rest not to bludgeon their developing neural pathways, but because they don't know any better than to wander into hot radiators, stick their tongues into electrical outlets, and/or drink bottles of Tide and Drano when their parents do selfish things like bathe or, God forbid, sleep.

Since the standard cribs are difficult to cram into the back of your average Hyundai, some brilliant person invented this collapsible version, so that parents can bring their children along while travelling, thus broadening the small persons' horizons.

So please, get the hell over yourself and stop slamming people who are merely trying to keep their offspring alive. It might be a stretch for your tiny brain, but all parents are not automatically crack-smoking Satan-worshippers itching for an excuse to lock their children in the Camaro on the hottest day in July.

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